I am so lost and frustrated. I don't even know where to start A DIET AGAIN. I have not gone ot the gym for 2 week, have stopped smoking and started again, my husband is very ill and mom is in assisted living and I have a full time job. I need to lose at least 70 lbs and I am so unmotivated. I don't know what to do. Also, I am not sure I am doing this posting correct. How will people respond back to me? Can someone please help me! I was ready to go buy Alli diet pills today but don't feel like spending the money. I am 51 years old and still attractive and love life but I am tired of the WEIGHT battle.

Hi there!!

WELCOME to 3FC!! You have come to the right place for support.

I took your poll off for you. You can just post a message without a poll. We'll respond back to you by hitting reply. I know this forum stuff seems confusing at 1st, but you'll be a pro in no time!!!

Hello and welcome.

Most of us here don't really discuss going on a diet but rather making positive changes in our life to help us lose weight. I know it can seem overwhelming when you have to deal with life's daily struggles and trying to lose weight.

My suggestion would be to try changing 1 or 2 things at a time to build up to where you want to be.

Instead of worrying about going to the gym, how about taking a walk near home a few times per week?

Other suggestions -
Try replacing some high calorie items with vegetables instead. (eg if you are eating scalloped potatoes, cut the portion in half and add some steamed green beans)
Replace calorie rich drinks with water. (eg if you drink 3 sodas per day, try drinking 2 and 1 glass of water)
Reduce the amount of sugar you may add to various items (coffee, cereal, other? - instead of 2 tsp, how about 1 tsp)
Make a lettuce wrap instead of a sandwich or try using a lower calorie wrap bread.
If you have bread with dinner, reduce the number of pieces (eg from 2 to 1).
Use a smaller plate to serve dinner on to reduce your possible portion.
Try eliminating seconds.
Try to find a lower calorie version of your favorite foods (eg, instead of Ben & Jerrys, try McDonalds soft serve)

Without knowing your specific issues, those are some generic suggestions.

Welcome!
My advice would be to make a small goal that you can reach, like losing 10 pounds. Then choose a few small things to change, like going for a walk several days a week and eating a few more fruits and veggies each day. If you make reasonable changes and a reachable goal...you can do it!
Keep posting to let us know how you're doing, ok?

Smile and know that you are motivated. You are here, aren't you? Every little step counts.

I can definately relate to having so many things going on at once that your head is spinning from not knowing what to do. I'm sorry to hear that your husband is ill, are others involved in his care? You may need outside support services if he is at home and you are not able to meet his needs or your own. Caregivers need to take care of themselves as well, you'll burn yourself out by trying to do everything alone. There are services available, perhaps talk to your husband's doctors office, do they have a social worker who can put you in contact with people who can help? I don't know what sort of assisted living your mom is in but is that a big worry for you? Do you not think she is getting the care she needs? I appreciate that you are worried about her or you wouldn't list that as a concern but if she is being looked after then you need to worry about yourself first. We women are so used to putting our own needs last, everyone and everything else comes first. Unfortunately it comes back to bite us in the butt when we are so out of shape and overweight that it threatens our health. I think nelie has offered some good suggestions for losing weight, my suggestions are more to look at what is going on in your life that is causing so much stress and see what you can do about those before committing to a major life change.

My husband is doing ok right now. He has serious COPD and is only 54, that means a few hospital stays a year, Priaise God he is cute and fine right now. No, I have not been taking care of myself and focusing on me. My mom just went to a new assisted living and she is loving it so the worry is not quite so much. The finally straw was yesterday the lady in the room with my mom was a bit confused and yelled who is that fat lady. I was so hurt and upset at myself. Today I am feeling better. Tomorrow I will go to Curves. Also this week I got a message back from my insurance that since I have arthritis I could not qualify for more short term disability insurance through my company so I guess it has hit my all at once. Thanks for listening.

I know how you feel. We all do. Just focus on the few small changes you can make. A few small changes add up to big changes, eventually. And I think you getting on here shows some motivation. Also, all the other advice already given to you was exactly what I would have said Sometimes we all need just someone to listen to us. And we're here. I know how you feel about the person that yelled about the fat lady. I once had a teenage girl come through my line at work, and she asked when I was due to have my baby. And without missing a beat I told her "i'm not pregnant, just fat". It killed her, and I felt better for having humiliated her. Bah. I wasn't proud.

I know what it is like to try to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time. Right now I would concentrate on quitting smoking and just kinda eat healthier. When you have a few months of not smoking then you can concentrate more on losing weight. It is really almost impossible to do both at the same time. Unless you are some kinda saint. LOL. GOOD LUCK

I am still here after 3 days and have had 3 days of controlled eating. I am thrilled. Thank you all

Great job! Stick around, this is a great place. Its helped me a LOT!!!

Good job! You can do it.

Hi, I just want to join in and say I too understand eating from stress, and I too had a situation happen. I had a good friend's daughter (in her 20's), smile at me (with her mother in the room) and say "wow! I didn't know you were pregnant! when are you due?! And she and my friend stood there smiling at me, and I was so embarassed I didn't know what to say, and finally my friend said oh, you're not pregnant. I wish I had handled that better.

But anyway, coming here is a good move. You'll get lots of support and lots of great ideas. Good luck and welcome!

Good Morning and thanks to everyone,

Today is Thursday and I have a plan for the day. It really seems that writing the posts and reading them through the day helps. I am an at home sales rep so I am on the computer through out the day. I think I am thriving from all the support and new friends. Sometimes I am kind of isolated (working from home) unless I am out seeing clients and how much can you complain to you friends who love you anyway. Thanks everyone for being here and this is great.