Maintainers Chat: May 12 - 18

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  • I haven't posted in a while, but wanted to jump in on this topic.

    WHY is it ok to comment on all my food and weight now that I lost over 100lbs, but nobody said a word when I was fat and eating horrible foods in horible amounts!! It obviously happens to a lot of us. Sometimes I really want to say "why are you eating that double cheeseburger and large fries and making comments about my salad with chicken!?! You eat what you eat and I will eat what I eat!

    This just happened again over at my parents house. It was my Mom's birthday. They were having ham, mash potatoes with butter and sour cream, 4 cheese stuffed eggplant that was battered in flour and egg and a salad. I said I would bring roasted vegtables. My Mom said that sounds fine. I also basically brought my own dinner cause I would have to have such small portions of everythng and I still would have gone over my count, not to mention all the sodium of everything. (I have a horrible time with sodium) My Mom was almost mad at me! What is so wrong with the food that we cooked that you can't eat it! UGH! I didn't say it was wrong or bad! I didn't say anything about it. I ended up just saying that because I am running a 1/2 marathon this weekend I wanted to make sure I am "fueled" really well. Which was part of the reason, I can't stand being really bloated when I run. I think it is ironic that if I had sat down and had 2 heaping helping of everything there, NOBODY would have said anything! Now I am just the crazy healthy eater!!!
    End of rant! Jelly
  • Okay, so the worst food comment I ever got was from someone who didn't know that I had ever been fat! I was at a conference in Shanghai when I was in grad school, and had gone out to dinner with one of my fellow grad students and several professors and researchers I didn't know. Nobody said anything while we ate dinner, which was authentic Shanghainese food. We stopped at a coffee shop afterward, and I got a piece of cake. It turned out to be a big piece, and since I had eaten a lot earlier, I only ate half of it. I did offer to split with someone, but nobody wanted to, so I just ate half and left the rest. This guy says to me, "Why do you women always do that? You leave a little bit left just to prove that you can!" I said, "I lost 55 lbs by leaving a little bit left, I don't just do it to prove that I can."

    Ugh. This guy was a generic jerk though. At my poster session, my advisor was there too, and the guy said, "She's smart, and pretty too!" So completely unprofessional. My advisor sent me an email after that saying that he also thought that comment was completely inappropriate.

    To be honest, all the food comments I've gotten have been from people who didn't know me when I was heavy. Stuff like, "You don't need to look at the calories, you're already thin." By this point though most of my coworkers know I used to be obese and that I watch my weight because I've told them, even though I was already at goal before I even interviewed for this job.
  • Barbara--
    Rant away!
    You need to print off your comebacks and keep them handy for the next time. Then you can pull them out and give the offender one or more comments! I also hate that I never can think of the witty comebacks at the time I need to!

    I would have hated your hot gym too. Even though I love the hot weather, I as happy for my cool gym yesterday while I was exercising.
  • Barbara~remember those comments! They are good! It's always so horrible to be caught off guard and not have a quick comeback to a rude comment. You would have been totally justified saying any of those comments. We all understand.

    I'm down another half pound but it isn't because I ate on plan yesterday. I had my last charity meeting last night and it was a potluck. You know what that means--lots of carby casseroles. I did have salad and a huge meatball (covered in BBQ sauce) but also managed to scoop up three different pasta or noodle dishes. Definitely not South Beach! But each scoop was less than 1/4 cup and all in all my plate was looking rather sparse. At least I planned for the potluck by having a very good rest of the day.
  • I also hate to get comments on which food I choose to eat. Mainly ones about me eating "diet food" all the time. My family seems to think if you don't eat everything battered and fried that you've just totally given up life.

    My plans for the gym today have been curtailed. School is out today and Lacy is having her BF over and I can't leave them here alone while I go shopping and to the gym. (they seem to be getting too chummy for my taste). Instead I'll go outside and clean out my flower beds today (which need it desperately).

    Meg, I'm again wanting to go to the gym everyday. I'm actually going about 4 times a week. My son's GF has been going with me during the day while my girls are at school. But, yesterday her 2yr. old son bit another child in the gyms daycare, so our going together may not last very long.

    I'm so excited cause today marks 2 whole weeks of being 100% smoke-free.
  • Thanks, everyone, for your responses about the food comments! I knew you all would understand. And I really am going to say one of the responses next time, maybe even more than one. I'll be sure to report on the reaction I get.

    Meg: It's so true and I'm sure that's was what was going with this guy too. He's not horribly overweight, but he has put on the some pounds in the last few years and I'm sure my success makes him feel guilty about his own choices.

    BillBlueEyes: Your BIL's comment is especially annoying! Maybe he just can't imagine having that kind of self-control.

    Megan: You do really have some tough roommate situations. I'd feel pretty conflicted about letting her borrow my weight loss tools too, after those kinds of comments. I suspect that the bran flakes comment was more about making an excuse to herself for not trying to lose weight. She couldn't lose weight because she'd have to eat foods she doesn't like, which, of course, isn't true at all. Unrelated to food and going back to an earlier subject, I forget when my TOM is all the time. I'm on nuvaring for B/C and I had to put a recurring appointment in my calendar to remind me of when to take it out and and when to put the new one in. And there are lots of times when the reminder pops up and I'm totally surprised that it is that time again.

    paperclippy: That guy does sound like jerk. I can't imagine how anyone could think comments like that are appropriate in a professional environment. Sounds like he needs some sensitivity training. I haven't been at this long enough to have people in my life who didn't know me before the weight loss. No one ever made comments about what I ate when I was 35 lbs heavier; these comments are all triggered by my losing weight.

    jellybelly06:
    I'm lucky in that my family is pretty supportive. But I have to admit that when my stepmom cooks a special dinner, I do take a meal off and eat what she's cooked. But probably no one would care if I didn't, or if I only ate part of the meal. In fact, if I did something like that, instead of getting mad at me, she'd probably start cooking special foods for me (my stepmom is the nicest woman in the world).

    alinnell: You could probably find the extender kits at a sewing store. If not, you could probably rig one up yourself with a couple of safety pins and a piece of ribbon.
  • I'm finally back (though I wasn't at a staff meeting all day, thank goodness!). I'm still struggling a bit with food, didn't sleep well last night, but I did get in a good running workout at the gym yesterday and had a really fun 2-hour belly dancing class last night. My new Oxygen mag came in 2 days ago so I was really looking forward to my gym reading. Though far from perfect, after 2 weeks I'm learning the routine to the "Scarf Dance" we're learning well enough to make it fun to swirl that scarf all through the air. And it's nice to get out and see people I don't see often, since as many of you know I've been having some frustrations with my roommates/co-workers probably stemming from my seeing them all the time.

    It's rainy and stormy here this afternoon. BF and I might go over to visit some friends this evening, or if not I'm thinking it will be a nice night to get some takeout or cook something hearty and cuddle with a movie. The rest of the weekend should be nice weather-wise. I hope to get some gardening in - my veggie garden is starting to produce nicely! What are everyone else's plans for the weekend?

    Barbara, I'm trying to be a bigger person and hope that perhaps doing the WW program will give her a little more insight, understanding, and tolerance of different diet lifestyles (diet in the sense of whatever food we eat is a diet, not necessarily a losing weight diet). I have suspected that some of her reactions to me are based on her own weight/health issues, not me at all. I've told her that I used to be much heavier but I don't think she really grasps the idea that I was once over 200 lbs.

    Lily, glad you are getting back to the gym and feeling so good about it! I think shooting for every day and going 4 or so days a week it a very decent showing, especially since you haven't been going. Congrats on staying smoke free!

    Allison, you sound very busy! I wish you lived near me - I'd let your skirt out for you.

    Jessica, that is pretty bad. I love your response to that guy! Clearly these insensitive people aren't getting the message that their comments aren't welcome!

    Hello to everyone else. Have a great Friday all!
  • Megan~that's such a sweet thing to offer! Wrong coast, though!!

    Babrara~I was thinking of making an extender myself, but the local fabric shop is closing down. It was great while they were closing as everything was exceptionally cheap! They are re-opening at a different location but not until June.
  • I think they have the extender things at the sewing store. Youngest daughter and I are going to Omaha tomorrow, so I'll keep my eyes open. The safety pin and ribbon thing might work, too, but safety pins make me nervous. Had one come undone once and well... it's an ugly story. :-)
  • Hi maintainers,

    I've been MIA, and backsliding...2 weeks of spring break, with great weather spent on home improvement and holiday with DD. And last week of getting back into the groove. Funny how much my mood imjproves when i actually get my exercise...just taking time for myself is a hige improvement.

    On the weight front things have reaslly gone bad..I have now regained everything I lost during my divorce, and i see lovehandles and a flabby belly. I find it very difficult to stick to a plan, it seems like the moment I have lost like 2 pounds, something vlicks in my brain saying "yes, you can do it, point proven", and then I find myself some days later and I have quit. I have to take more notice of my food. So far I'm limiting myself to o3 meals and 2 snacks a day, and wine on weekends, but this may not be sufficient. I have failed at plans so often that I am wary of going that path again..I'll just have to figure out how to handle this in my own way.

    I have read all your posts with interest, but it is impossible to comment on them all, so I'll just say hi to everyone. Keep on going, you keep me motivated.

    have a great weekend,
    Rabbit
  • Rabbitt, so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I hope things get better for you soon. You've been through so much, so don't be too hard on yourself.

    I didn't get my flower beds done yesterday. I did major housecleaning and laundry all day though. Today it's gym no matter what.
  • Morning all! It is a perfect spring day here in the far north. The sun is shining and the sky is bright blue. Not a cloud in sight. It should warm up nicely later in the day (probably in 40's now) and I'll take my bike for a spin.

    I took yesterday off and went to Anchorage with two girlfriends. We had a lovely day of shopping and visiting. My food choices - which I knew in advance - were not the best, but I'm back in the saddle today. Funny because both my friends are also doing WW, but two of us have quite stressful jobs (the other is retired) and a day off without restrictions was good for both of us. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and stocked up on lots of fresh fruit and veggies, and am back with the plan today. Of course, when I finally got to the computer last night about 10 I foolishly logged onto my work email and felt the stress rising. I shut it down and went to bed and read for awhile.

    Today I have my laundry done and sheets hanging outdoors. I love the smell of air dried bedding. My cats think I'm a revolving door opener, so I finally gave up and left the door open. They've been in and out a dozen times or more. I have a dinner to go to tonight, and I'm bringing dessert. I got an angel food cake, and fresh strawberries, and for those who want it, whipped cream.
  • Hi maintainers,

    Lily, thanks for the encouragement. The problem is that I am just on the wrong side of maintaining with my present lifestyle. I gain like 2 pounds in 3 months, but over 2 years it is really starting to get ugly. I am thinking along the lines of keeping saying to myself that what i see here is the result of 1 snack or 1 glass of wine too many, every day. So I have to make 1 additional right choice each day. should be doable, but we;ll see.

    Pat - your day sounds lovely. Ditto here in re cats & door. my cat is now adjusting to 2 strange large tomcats in the garden. She is small, female and old.

    Have agreat weekend all,
    Rabbit
  • Planned "cheat"
    Well, last night, I did what I said I would do--I took myself out for a meal that I wanted. It was a bit surprising, though. I decided to order chicken, instead of beef. I know that beef tends to make me gain weight. Then, I barely drank any of the diet pepsi my husband ordered. Again, I know that diet pepsi is giving me problems when I drink it. I wanted to have cheesecake for dessert and guess what ? They didn't have it! UGH! I wasn't deterred, though (sorry). We drove home and went to another restaurant in our own town for dessert. Their cheesecake was smaller, so I opted for some chocolate fudge cake thing. Still, I didn't eat it all--I shared it with my hubby. I must say it was fabulous! I enjoyed every single bite and refused to wash it down with water; I wanted that taste to last as long as it could.

    Perhaps oddly, I didn't feel guilty about what I did. I planned to have this meal--I still made mostly good choices, and I went right back to eating on my plan (no throw out the whole plan because I ate something that was decadent). This morning, there was no expected gain on the scale, but I'm fairly certain it will be there tomorrow. It's ok. I can have what I want every few months for one meal and enjoy it all the way, and then be smart about the rest of my eating. Just thought I should confess.

    It's another week--grilling for lunch and chicken wild rice soup for supper. Found a good recipe for ham and cheese stuffed chicken breasts that I hope to make for supper tomorrow night. I'll get it and post it on our recipe site. Also have a great recipe for a salad. Don't know how many calories it is, but I've been playing with it for weeks and have eliminated 3/4 of the oil and part of the cheese and cashews and I still love it. Will post that too. Hope wherever you are that it's sunny. Time to get out and walk to church!
  • I have found that having one piece of cake or pie away from home is OK. It's having a whole cake or pie in the house that I cannot allow. I just have no resistance.