Thanks
JEN!
Let me explain. I call her ex-wife here on 3FC so that folks are clear on who she is. In the past here, at 3FC, when I mentioned her by name some people that didn't know me well thought she was another daughter.
It is rare that I ever say ex-wife.
It can be confusing for people, even after being divorced for almost 20 years!
BRENDA still has my last name. Last Sunday at church Angie sat on one side of me and Brenda on the other...we went up to communion exactly like that. If the kids are there they usually sit between us. When we do the "family" pictures for the church pictorial it can be REALLY confusing to newer people trying to figure it all out! Also throw my nephew Ron into the mix, same last name and I am his guardian...people that don't really know us but see us together or with Angie "think" he is another son sometimes! Then they see him with Brenda...his aunt. On top of that...his sister...lives with my brother...sometimes she ...Marci...is with them at church...sometimes they don't go and she is with me and Angie!
Because it is rare we can all get together for pictures for the church pictorial over the years the pictures have looked like this...keep in mind we all have the same last name...OH! Except my step-daughter which also confuses people!!
One year ~ Angie, me, my kids and step-daughter in one.
Brenda and my kids in one. Of course with the same last name we are right under each other.
Another year ~ Me and Angie for one ~ Brenda by herself for one ~ My kids and my step-d in one....1 with different last name
Another year ~ Me and Angie, son and nephew for one. Brenda and my daughter in the other one.
My kids were very active in high school and college sports and activities. Most of the time Angie wasn't able to go to the day games because of her teaching and her daughter's activities. Brenda and I really confused people at the events because they assumed...and they had NO reason to believe different...that we were married. We always sit together and work the activities together. Well when Angie would be able to come for example, to the basketball games, because they were at night, it really threw people off when they would see me holding hands with Angie
Throw in the fact that my "ex" in-laws come to church with us sometimes for baptisims, etc. and Angie's mom and dad (since passed) too...and I call them all mom and dad then my mom and dad (since passed) would show up....well you get the idea.
Angie has never had a problem with Brenda, they do many things together for the kids and a few just them. Last week Brenda and I rode together to see our daughter defend her thesis, over the years we have traveled many-many miles together without Angie in the car. On occasion we have stayed in the same hotel room together...strange? yep...not one concern for Angie!
Brenda and I had been divorced for almost 6 years when Angie and I met. It was difficult for Brenda at first, someone else being around...but Angie NEVER tried or intended to be their mother...just their step-mom and my wife. Eventually, in a short time really, I think Brenda realized that this was the table she had set and had to deal with it.
I always made sure Brenda was MOM and Angie was step-mom...and they both were OUTSTANDING in doing that. It was a divorce I did not want...broke my heart...it was rough I admit....things have been good for a long time!
Nobody wins in a divorce...but it doesn't have to ruin everyones lives forever either! I thank God for my wife and kids and even for my
ex-wife
Brenda is a dear friend of mine and the mother of my children, we were together for 14 years total...in no way, when I use
ex-wife do I mean any disrespect...only to not
confuse people....
AND! Once again ANOTHER LOOOONG confusing post by GARY!!!