I have followed a weight loss program at our local hospital with their leading weight loss research doc. We were taught a lot, as well as being followed/supported for our nutritional intake and weight loss. Although I subsequently fell off that wagon, I am once again using much of what I learned there.
Currently, the findings suggest that those of us who tend to overweight easily have metabolisms that do not function as well as those with 'normal' metabolisms. A 'normal' person my height (5' 4.5")and typical sedentary work at a desk lifestyle would need about 2000 calories a day to maintain a healthy weight, considered to be about 125 - 130 at my age. In addition, if they were to overeat, say for a restaurant meal on occasion, their metabolism would automatically speed up to burn off the excess.
Alas, not so for me. Whether by genetics, a lifetime of dieting/overeating/sedentary, a virus (that is one theory) or some combination of these, my metabolism is slowed down. By the end of the programme, I was down to 160 lbs and 30% bodyfat. I was jogging 30 minutes 5 - 6 times a week and I was maintaining my weight at 1600 calories a day.
Most of those calculators are developed based on the 'normal' metabolism at a 'normal' % body fat. If your bodyfat% is higher, your muscle % is lower and you burn fewer calories just sitting there than a same-weight person with less fat and more muscle. (muscle needs more oxygen and blood flow than fat does). If your metabolism is slower than average on top of that, then you can see why the 'normal' calorie consumption might be high for you.
There are a few ways to approach your situation: trial and error, using what seems a reasonable amount of calories per day for yourself. You may want to consider 'zigzagging' calories as it seems to avoid prompting the metabolism to go into 'famine' mode. If you can determine your bodyfat%
relatively accurately (ie, using scales, or through a professional assessment - fat calipers are difficult to use correctly if one isn't trained to do so), you can use that info to figure out a close enough approximation of your BMR to help you answer your question. I have a
program for my Palm device that helps to calculate BMR, and keeps track of everything I eat. It's also available for PC. Not long ago, I did a search for 'calculate BMR' on Google and it came up with a number of sites. If memory serves, one compared three different methods for calculating BMR and there was very little difference.
Being from a science background, I tend to get a little too fixated on precision. Every once in a while I have to remind myself that I have 70 lbs. still to go and close enough is good enough for now.
Hope this helps.
Ti'an