LOL I was thinking same thing Ani ... Y'all..... It's so funny Gen

Warning: this is an Ani rant!

What is it with people? I swear there are women out there in my circle of 'friends and acquaintances' who want to see me stay fat so they can feel better about themselves! In the last month I have had a number of people tell me there is "no way" I still need to lose 12kg, because they tell me I almost look skinny now and that I would look sick if I lost much more weight.

What a crock of fermented pelican sh!t!

The trouble with all that constant reinforcement is that it's affecting my motivation to continue losing. It is really, really hard to keep yourself 'up and going' when you've lost 26kg and people are constantly telling you that you look great. It makes it SO much easier to find excuses to eat those few extra hundred calories - I know they won't add weight to me, but they certainly won't help me lose any more. Grrr!

And yes of course it's true. I would have to have a pretty abnormal body to lose 24% of my body weight and not show SOME significant change. But facts are facts:

• I am still on the border of obese/overweight;

• I am still wearing a Size 16;

• I can still see/feel heaps of fat on my body;

• I am still well within an unhealthy weight range.

People who have never struggled with weight just don't get it. Close friends who have known me for a long time see me choosing healthier food (and saying no to things I no longer want) and they think I've got it nailed. They don't understand that this is relatively new for me, and it is still a constant battle to say no to a lot of stuff.

People who weigh more than me are constantly trying to sabotage me - constantly. "Oh come on - one time won't hurt", or "you're just trying to show me up" …

Combine this constant reinforcement with the fact that my life is in a bit of chaos at the moment. Well - maybe not chaos, but routines are way out of whack and I'm struggling financially until my new job starts. I'm also trying to get used to living with three people, and while I hate that I see it as a means to an end.

By putting up with this for four months I will be able to get myself stable financially a lot more quickly. So every time something annoys me I remind myself it's a means to an end - nothing more.

But how do I get my weight loss back on track? I feel like I have done so much hard work to get to this point, and now I'm starting to see the real benefits I'm slacking off.

I know that's a BIG mistake!

I also know (in my head) basically what I have to do. The problem is finding the impetus to do it.

Somehow I need to shake it up, make it interesting and fun, and re-set my goals.

I also think I have made a mistake by setting a loose goal of 1kg/month for this year. By making a goal that is so "easy" I have given myself permission to slack off.

So… I'm going to re-commit, here and now, to my weight loss plan. I REFUSE to undo my good work, and I REFUSE to be beaten by this. It's a challenge, and I'm going to turn that to my advantage.

After tomorrow's weigh-in (at which I expect to have gained quite a bit), I am going to set a goal of losing 10 pounds by the beginning of winter. That might be a big job, but I see no reason why I can't do it. It requires me to lose one pound/week on average.

I start my job at Bunnings in just over a week, and I'll be walking, lifting, unpacking and doing physical things all day - so it isn't unreasonable to expect that I can create a calorie deficit once I'm working.

I have been losing weight now for 83 weeks, so I have averaged (including my three plateaus) a loss of 0.3kg/week. If I put in a big effort, and continue to lose at the same rate, there's no reason why I can't be at my goal in 38 weeks from now - which is a few days before my birthday!

Apologies for being so self-indulgent with this post. I was just feeling a bit lost, and WAY off track. But I think I'm a little more clear now. Phew!


Ani

I love ANI RANTS. hehee. No honest... I really do. I admire that you put yourself out there and don't give a damn because you know we will listen, and empathise with you. And best of all.... we don't and never will judge you. You know, over this last year even though we have never met. I really like ya .... rants and all . hehe

Don't panic about STILL being a size 16. Do you know what an average size 16 is? There IS no average. Listen to this Vonni rant - I get so many clothes back at the desk at work I see skinny people bring back cause to small and larger people bring back cause to big. I put 2 sixteens together and it can be inches different and same goes for ALL sizes. I generally wear a 14 but my wardrobe does hold 16s and 12s. I have quite an apron that I just can't shake no matter how much weight I lose so I foind it difficult to find dresses or bottoms to fit me well. I am also very short so to fit me around they are way to long - pants and tops. 3/4 pants are full length and even have to be shortened sometimes. The darts for boobs are halfway down my arms and the sleeves are blerk.

When I was tiny I had a best friend who was extremely overweight. Like a ball. She was really short to. But I found it was ME who was self concious about being so little.

Sh!t have to finish post later.... other half home.

Vonni

Thanks Vonni - I feel a little clearer after my rant, and have a stronger sense of purpose. And I agree - we're cybermates .

Had a *slightly* better day today. I ate 1530 calories and drank 1.5L of water, but didn't do any exercise. Oh well, tomorrow will be a new start for me on my way to dropping the next 10lb.

I know what you mean about the differences in clothes sizes. In some things I can still wear an 18, and I have a few Size 14s that fit (tightly mind you). I have to admit I am more interested in getting healthy - and that includes reaching a healthy weight, than in how "good" I look. I'm going to have loose skin when this is done, and I can't afford to care too much about that - it's the price I'll pay for getting so big in the first place.

I'm so grumpy. Clearly being unemployed and broke does not suit me. I hate being bored, and I don't particularly like not having any money. But I've made changes in my life which will fix all that, and I just need to persevere for a couple more weeks and everything will be better.

I hope Lindor is having a great holiday and that she will come back with a fresh resolve to keep winning this battle.

I wonder how Kel is going with her 40 days of Lent. Sure is quiet here without her .

Barb are you around? Have you started your new program?

And where's Amy and RennySue?

We all know Gen's at some gym in North America sweating it out in the snow… not sure that sounded right, but I know what I meant.

OK - more than enough waffle from me for one day. I'll report my weigh-in in the morning - even if I've gained 10kg .

Weighed in and no change grrrr But George has been hanging this past week and I munch and dont drink water so noone but myself to blame. Hey yeah Kel probably IS due to come back. isn't she? Kel? Hows Jem and Benji? Most important, how are YOU going?

Ani sucks doesnt it not having any finances to get through tough times. I have to give up one day work a week and it's going to hit us pretty hard. But I only spend it on crap anyhow so it will be a learning curve for me. We also no longer have our health care card... mind you I have done the calculations and we ARE entitled to it. So medication child care and my studies are all going to cost more... Grrrr, and my teeth have just chosen to play up so it will cost an arm and leg even for a consult at the dentist.

How did everyones weigh in go?

My weigh-in was a shocker - 80.5kg! But I'm not all that surprised, given that I've been way off plan for the last three weeks.

So this week's plan is to get to 176lb (80kg) by next Monday, and to do that I want to:

• Eat no more than 1520 calories/day;

• Drink 2L of water;

• Do 10,000 steps on my pedometer; and

• ENJOY my last week of not working, instead of feeling bored and grumpy!

Most importantly I want to feel like I am doing things that are contributing to a healthier lifestyle.

I guess the one positive I can take from this is that I pulled it up after gaining 1.5kg. In the past I would have got to this point and said: "See - I can't do it, it's too hard", and then gained 10kg back before I knew it. So this is progress, right?


Ani

progress for sure is recognising whats going on and as you said - pulling it up.

I too am very glad that you can come here for a good rant when you need to Ani. We're all here to listen and not to judge so feel free to rant away any time It sounds like you're beginning to get a new sense of focus and that's great news.

As for me, I've caught a cold and am feeling dreadful. Diet seems to be in the too hard basket at the moment and I'm staying away from the gym while I feel so rotten. Headache, sniffles and period pains. Bleurgh.

Can't wait to get rid of this cold and get back to my fighting form. My goal for this week is to not eat any more crap.

Back on track now .

It's amazing how a good rant can help clear your head. I've bought my new steel-cap Blundestones and a pair of blue jeans - my new work uniform, and I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow morning, so I have a bit more sense of purpose now.

It's 36ºC here today, so I only went for a 40 minute walk. I'm planning to go down to the beach later and walk for another half an hour or so.

Julia you get better. I wouldn't exercise while feeling sick either, the most important thing is for you to take care of yourself and get better.


Ani

Hi all. Probably won't get on again till sunday or Mondays weigh in.

I start at the Doctors surgery tomorrow and working till 4.30 then start at Big W 4.30 (hmm, glad its only across the road). Finish at 9.30 then have lectures all day tomorrow and working again all day Saturday. We have all the kids this weekend so hard for me to get peace long enough to get online.

Hope everyone has a lovely end of week (today is hump day) and catch up with all later.

Vonni

You'll be busy then Vonni!

I'm still feeling rotten with this cold but have managed to stick to a reasonably good diet so that's one thing.

My sister had a baby last night a wee boy born at her home at 9:47pm. I'm gutted that I was up in Wellington this time last week and not this week to be there for it all. I'll go up and visit as soon as they're settled. Can't wait to see the wee guy!

Woo Hoo Auntie Julie

On track for me too, and I'm feeling a lot more positive about things. Still five days to go until I start work, and there have been a few ups and downs yesterday, but mostly met my goals.

Today's plan is to make sure I eat no more than 1500 calories, drink 2L of water and walk 10,000 steps.


Ani

Hey does anyone here get the Flu vaccination? I've been getting them since 1989 and haven't had the flu once in all that time - I do get a tiny bit sick a few days after the jab, but it's worth it.

Why am I so off-topic? Julia, you being sick reminded me that I need to get my jab today (which I'm about to go and do)… because for the first time in many years I will be spending winter around thousands of people, and I don't want to pick up the flu from any of them .

And it's true that being sick makes it harder to stay on track with weight loss.

Yes, Ani I get the flu vaccination every year. Basically I get it because work provides it for free if we want it and I figure why not. I haven't had a really bad bout of the flu in years either but I've always tended to get lots of colds.

That's something really positive that I have noticed is that since I started getting healthy last June, I've hardly been sick. Not surprising when I think what I used to put into my body - masses of alcohol, nicotine and plenty of junk food.

Now that I've stopped smoking and stopped binge drinking and have improved my diet, I'm physically (and of course mentally) so much healthier than what I used to be. I was the person who caught a cold every couple of months and now I'm hardly ever sick. It's a great feeling.

I'm very excited about the baby being born and can't wait to see the little guy. They make me laugh ...... the 2 other kids (aged 6 and 12) were sitting in the lounge watching telly while mum was in a birthing pool in the kitchen giving birth. She said that she's amazed none of the neighbours called the police as she was screaming so much. The kids were apparently unfazed by it all, they just kept watching their movie and ignored her

Hi guys im back.. and im in a whiny mood....you have been warned...!!


John flew in for his visit with the flu.... lol we have all been sick for the last couple of weeks . and now his gone again im not sleeping again.... lol Why cant i sleep without my husband.... lol
This weather has made us all feel useless. Cant get anything done when you have a 3 year old covered in a rash and screaming becuase she is hot.. lol ... its just rediculous.. we have airconditioning indoors but we have to go and pick and drop off cameron and the 10-15minutes in the heat is enough to make her skin breakout in hives.. I just feel like giving up.. i do everything i can for her not to get sick.. my house is pet free we have no carpet,upholserty ect.. i wash ALL her bedding 4 times a week and still she gets sick.. I have to read labels on all foods and have to make 90% of everything myself.... and why????? so she can get hot and get sick anyway............Its so frustrating. she starts kindy 3rd term.which means carpet bark chip peastraw animal hair dust ectall of which will set her off. and i really dont think she will be well enough to stay there all the time.. Her rashes really hurt and she screams in pain..what am i supposed to do put her in a bubble??? lol. Tell them, never under any circumstance is leah to be given anything to eat that i have not packed for her and make a poster to put up in the kindy so the other parents know?.. I just hate all this worry..

Oh and if your wondering why im in such a sooky mood i have had maybe 5 hours sleep total over the last 2 nights and now i have aunty visiting too ..lol.. dont you just love the heat and the hormones, always the perfect combination for a migrane... lol ani i bet you regret asking where i was now..... lmao..
We had a huge thing happen the other day.........
its was unreal..... and so unusal too...

I saw

a



raincloud...........

and its rained.....

6 whole drops.... then left and it was 38 ... but 6 drops.... thats gotta save the garden.... lmao...

oh just for the record i have ate crap ( ate like one meal a day for 8 days when i had the flu and its was crap.. didnt want to cook.. lasagne,fish n chips, pizza,shepardspie...tacos.... lol 2 minute noodles..cheesecake... ( there is only the one day i over the calories but i dont feel too good and done no exercise for 2 weeks.. im not going near a bathroom scale but i know its not good.. and im feeling crap i imagine becuase i have been eating crap... I have ate no crap today however .. and i will keep it up ..

so yeah im still here just not on track .. my goal this week is to eat helathy and get more sleep.. once i have that under controll ill get back into exercising too .. so please kick my butt ..

Sorry you have glandular fever ani.. when i had that i was told to not do too much of anything.. becuase if you push your self when you have it you can end up with chronic fatutigue syndrome.. I had it severe however. i was 15 and my throat closed over from the swelling i spent 3 weeks in hospital.. then had a week out then got over 100 ulcers in my mouth nose and throat and went back in for another week.. my tonsils stayed inflamed for 6months after and were the size of golf balls so they took them out and i got chronic fatigue even though i took 3 months off school and did nothing but sleep.

wow vonni i dont know how you can mange to work when you have so many kids to look after.. it must be hard to keep everything organised at home.. unreal..

and congrats julia on the new addition to your family..