I watched a documentary on TLC last night about hoarders. I learned that I had been totally misinformed previously about hoarding behavior. I'm not talking about the "normal" behavior of saving our old clothes hoping we'll be able to wear them again someday.
I used to have a very good friend named Walt. The first time he invited me over, I was shocked at how cluttered his duplex was. From the outside, it looked perfectly "normal". From the inside, there was barely a path to walk and every piece of furniture, countertop, corner, whatever was packed almost to the ceiling with various stuff. He had gone through a divorce about a yr. previously and from what he said, this is when the behavior greatly increased.
Whenever I would go to his home, I'd naturally try to "help". I learned last night that my idea of helping was actually harmful to his psyche. I'd try to box things up, sort stuff, clean up, clear off furniture, and in general move his stuff. It was so frustrating cause on each future visit, I'd find his home was even more cluttered than the previous time. I offered to help him have a yard sale but he never did. He would always say "I'm saving all this stuff in case someone ever needs it". I simply couldn't fathom living amongst clutter in the hopes that someday it would be useful.
I was outside one day with him when he opened the garage. There was stuff piled everywhere to the ceiling.
Since he owned both sides of the duplex, for a while he had rented out the other side to a tenant. He eventually moved his tenant out of that other side and began to fill that side also with stuff.
Anyway, I learned that moving their stuff creates havoc and uncertainty in their lives. The best way to help is through them getting therapy and a professional organizer that is trained in helping people with this disorder.
After personally knowing a hoarder, I can now see and accept how it affected his family and his life. He had 2 beautiful daughters ages 6 and 12 and his XW called the DHS on him and refused to allow his daughters to visit because his home was so messy.
They did mention on the show that this behavior is often passed down to future generations. This behavior also often appears around the age of 40 and especially increases after a traumatic event.
I posted this so if anyone knows someone that hoardes or has a problem with it themself, that they might be able to help them or get help.