Ok... I'm having a major depresses moment. Yes, I know I have a problem! But I haven't seen a therapist yet... My child keep me sane! She is the most important thing in my life. And everything I do is for her. So I could never do anything really bad, but I'm having major bad thoughts right now.
I feel I can't control Anything in my life right now... especially MY WEIGHT!

I have been on WW for 3 years... This Jan will be the beginning of my 4th year. ! year weight loss, 2 years maintenace. I am 5'5" and weigh normally less than 125, Today I stepped on the scale I WAS 127.2, naked. Last night at WW they WEIGHED ME IN AT A WHOPPING 129!!! I feel disgusting. I have been stayed OP and even started walking on the treadmill 30 min a night.
I gan't believe it just keeps going up, how much longer before I'm right back up there?! I didn't eat this morning, I know THAT'S BAD! But I can't.

I'm also smart enough to know this isn't all about my weight.
I want them to put me away somewhere. I'm tried! I'm tried of dealing with everything in my life and I'm tried of watching my weight, espescially watching it go up, when I think I've been so good. I don't want to think about it anymore, but I can't stop. I can't give up. This is my life. I CAN'T BE FAT!!

INTERVENTION!! Where do I get some. Where do I go?

Thanks for reading my ramblings, and if this is you, know you aren't alone.
please let me know I'm not alone.

Cyndie

Cyndie, you are definitely not alone Weight problems and depression often go hand in hand. Please don't let go of the fact that you have accomplished SO much already! You reached your weight loss goal and actually passed it, so I'm guessing you have a little wiggle room in there. Don't worry about those few pounds. It's normal to fluctuate a little. Please do get some help for your depression. Depression is often caused by a chemical imbalance, and can be controlled with a mild medication like Zoloft. You deserve to be happy, and your child deserves a happy mom. You could see a therapist, or you could see your regular family physician. But please don't delay, call them this morning and take hold of this now

Cyndie I am so sorry you are feeling this way. You need to find someone you can talk to even if i is just someone who is good at listening. I am 5' 4" and currently weigh 207. I know you are having a tough time but even at 129 I bet you are pure beautiful. I body weight does and will fluctuate and you may be right back down to 125 in no time. Please do not have bad thoughts about yourself. Negative thoughts will only do more damage. Take care of that little girl of yours.

well....129 is not a bad weight.....heck id like to be 165 lol.....but just hang in there....life GOES ON!!! i swear it does....you cant always depend on a scale either....there will be days you are bloated.....days that youve drank more water than usual.....ect ect...i promise.....just because your SCALE is saying 129 or 127....doesnt always mean it.....when your clothes start fitting tight...thats the time to panic!! keep your chin up!

Try not to compare what you weigh naked with what you weigh fully clothed there will be a differance but not a major one. I agree , though that you need to see someone about your depression, a doctor can reccommend someone or maybe your pastor, but do it now, for your child and yourself.

You sound like you are really in a crisis mode right now. You need to call your primary doctor now, and tell him EXACTLY how you are feeling. If you need to go to the hospital do that. You are feeling out of control and you may need to have medication or if your on medication it may need to be adjusted. There are many reasons you could be feeling this way. You aren't crazy, you just need help. Please contact someone and don't take no for an answer....tell them you need to talk to someone NOW! Please update us. I'll be thinking about you.

Get to your doc hun! We are here for you!

Just sitting here, reading all your responses. I'm at work right now... so I can't do much, wrote my husband an email and gave him the number of a therapist to call for me. No one's business here at work. Haven't eaten today, I feel like I'm on the edge looking over into a big black hole. I'm starting to feel the hunger pangs, but when I look in the mirror, I see this hugh women looking back at me... I mean its scarey like I blew up overnight.
Wow! I just realized this... I looked in the mirror and I was big!
I really must be losing it.
I'll keep in touch

Unless you are 3 feet tall , 130 lbs is not big. Have you made an appointmet yer ?

You are 5 feet 5 and a normal weight. Most of us would like to be there. If you think you are huge, you do need a therapist to get your issues straightened out. Good luck to you.

There are many things going on this time of year to make people feel depressed and fat. Holiday parties, cookies everywhere, stress of making everything "perfect", etc. It is very normal to feel sad this time of year. I've been going through some things myself, and can't seem to stop shoving food in my mouth. You need to see a doctor first of all. Also, give yourself permission to be unhappy. You don't have to be Pollyanna all the time. Take some time for yourself, have a long relaxing bath or go to the bookstore or whatever may calm you. Ask your DH for a little more help to take some of the stress of of you. Not eating is NOT healthy, as you said so yourself.

Make that appointment, get through this time of year and begin again. None of us are perfect. We all slip. Its OK.

I think you were right on when you said this isn't just about your weight. Heavens, you weigh a pound less than my goal, and we're the same height. And I plan to re-evaluate my goal when I get to 135, and decide if I'm good there. 129 at 5'5" is LIGHT by any standard.

Your child deserves a Mom who can be there for her, mind, body, and soul, and right now, it doesn't sound like you can be. Please see a professional, and don't be afraid to try meds if they are recommended. I have plenty of friends who have used anti-depressants. Some temporarily, some permanently, but they all swear by them - why live in complete misery if you don't have to? Good luck, and keep us posted.

There are crisis hotlines staffed 24/7...better yet, make arrangements for childcare and get yourself to an ER. This is not about your weight.