My boyfriend and I broke up last month.
I was the one who actually broke up with him. We had the most unhealthy relationship ever. When he was bored and horny, he treated me like the best girlfriend in a world. But whenever he had his friends, Madden, or weed...I could be on fire and he wouldn't notice.
He was also verbally abusive A LOT. He called me "B", he called me "C" and everything else. But then he would apologize and start kissing me and I don't know why that seemed to work everytime, but it did and I forgave him.
He once made a joke about how my father "looks better now, since the chemo made him lose weight". Yes he actually said that and I actually forgave him.
But so on and so forth, one day I had enough. Not only was I angry I actually didn't feel any love toward him. Just pity and hate. I didn't want that kind of baggage so I ended it. And now its over.
Of course during this whole time my eatings been out of control. McDonalds, bread, cheese, candy, Blizzards, I had some of each of those things everyday. Eating is really my only source of comfort. The break up also made me feel ugly and useless and depressed. I was with that guy for two years, since I was 17. I had forgotten how lonely I was before.
So NOW I've mourned long enough and I think it's time to get back into the game. I need to lose weight and I've put it off long enough. I don't want to be an obese 20 year old. I don't want to spend my 20's the way I spent my teen years. It's time to end this.
I think I'm gonna start trying to get my eating under 2,000 calories a day. It will be hard (I've averaging 3000 now) but I gotta start somewhere.
I also haven't exercised in forever so I think I'm gonna start doing my 1 Mile Walk Away the Pounds video everyday. I was doing the 2 Mile Walk this summer but that's before all the drama happened...
I also met another guy who...perfect for me! We share the same religious beliefs, politics, style. He doesn't drink or do drugs. He has a job! And he treats me better than I've ever been treated my entire life.
We're not dating yet, I don't know if we ever will. He wants to. But he's perfect. He's skinny. And I mean...skinny. We'll look like the number 10. Plus...he has all these gorgeous girl friends. I mean drop dead gorgeous, with great bodies. Why does he want me? Why is he trying to get me when he could have someone such much better?
And that's the end of my vent. Thanks for reading.