I have some input. It's worth less than 2 cents, but what the ****, right?
I strongly agree with
gatorgal - soul searching and being single is not always so bad, and it is unquestionably important to know what your amazing traits are. Since you said you are aware of these traits, ask yourself another question: "Why do I need a man in my life right now?" I know it can be easy to feel lonely, but there are other things in life that are important besides finding someone. You seem like you are uncomfortble with yourself. To be honest, I would not advise dating until you are comfortable and confident.
Posting an online personal ad is definitely a start, though! Make sure your pictures are up to date and accurately show your body. Be honest about your body type. This will weed out anyone who may be potentially disinterested in a chunky girl. There ARE men out there who don't mind weight... I know this because: A) I have a friend who is morbidly obese and she has still had serious relationships and sexual encounters... and no, not all her exes are fat or even overweight and B) at my highest weight (20 pounds overweight - not obese, but I was chubby - refer to my before/after pics in my sig), on the days when I cared to actually look nice, I got my fair share of male attention, including two very hot guys who really wanted to be with me.
HOWEVER - I am hitched in a 2.5 year relationship and was never single and fat - I got fat AFTER being in a relationship and was quite thin before
. I honestly had such low self esteem regarding my looks at my highest weight and wanted constant reassurance that I wasn't FAT. I talked myself into believing that despite weighing 175 pounds, I LOOKED 155. (Some people really
did think so, actually, but a picture says 1,000 words and even if I did "carry it well" in real life, I was quite a porker!
) If I was single, I would have probably waited until I lost weight to go back into the dating pool, because I had ZERO confidence... and also, I'm shallow and could NEVER date someone fat, so I would feel like a hypocrite placing such standards on anyone else while at my HW.
I acted really confident while drunk, though, and flirted with everyone. I guess my former thin self popped out to say hello when I was too drunk to remember that I was a fat chick