Hi! I just went to my first meeting last night. It was very motivating, but scary too. I was told I have to abstain from certain ingredients in food (not sure if I am allowed to mention them). I was in shock. I thought that to abstain meant to stop bingeing. I have heard that some meetings make you abstain, and some do not. I have lost over 50lbs with Weight Watchers, and I love that plan. Yes, I did gain back all the weight, but I figured going to these meetings, while following the WW plan, will help me keep it off. Do I absolutely have to abstain from those foods in order to be a member of OA? Thanks for your help

Everyone's definition of abstinence is different. OA has no established food plan, even though most members follow similar plans. NO ONE has the right to tell you what to eat. If you've been talking to a person about being your sponsor and you are not comfortable with what they're telling you, you can find another sponsor. The only requirement for attending OA meetings is a desire to stop eating compulsively. It sounds like you have that.

You might do a search in these pages, we've discussed our own abstinences before. There are some good thoughts.

Thank you, you have made me feel so much better. I was convinced OA was the answer to my problem, but after hearing about abstaining, I was really dissapointed. I just need to find a meeting where they accept people who don't abstain. I was told by one of the contact people that if I didn't plan on abstaining, then OA was a waste of my time

The definition of abstinence is to stop doing whatever leads to compulsive overeating for you. For some people, that means they need to stop eating a specific type of food. For others, they can have all foods, but perhaps they need to abstain from certain behaviors that trigger COE like drinking alcohol while eating or blindly eating in front of the TV or not weighing/measuring out portions.

Do some soul searching and try to determine if there are any specific food types that lead to COE. Also think about those behaviors that lead to it. Avoid just those foods and/or behaviors that lead to COE and you'll be abstinent. It may be that all foods are open for you, but that you need to adjust some of your eating behaviors.

Thank you Ann!

I am so sorry you were introduced to OA in that way. There are different "sects" in OA. Here in cincinnati we have traditional OA and HOW. HOW is more structured and they refrain from sugar and white flour. They also weigh and measure all/most of their food. However, this is NOT a requirement in OA. You can still go to HOW meetings and use a food plan that is less rigid. If someone has a problems with it, remember that it is their problem, not yours. This is one thing about OA that you will learn. We say "take what ou need and leave the rest."

I would definately recommend trying out different meetings in your area and talking to people with different definitions of "abstinence." This concept can be pretty difficult. It helps to hear how other people found what works for them. I would also recommend the book "Abstinence." When I have struggled with defining mine, this book really helped me.

I am glad you posted this here and that we could help you. Please keep going back. For me, I have found my life is so much better when I work this program. I am pulling out of a relapse right now and really working it. I ave been involved for 9 years, but a couple of times I have lost it because I felt I was "cured" and could eat like normal people. This program helps me to accept that I react differently to some foods than most people, and that I can have recovery from it if I work for it and rely on HP.

It is not just about the weight for me. It truly helps me in all aspects of my life. Please give it some time before you decide if it is right for you.

Emily

Thank you Emily. I think I will try and find a different meeting!

hi there-

I know two OAers who use WW for their food plan minus their trigger foods, and are feeling very successful with it.

You find what works for you!

That's great to hear! Thank you!

my name is erin and im doing weight watchers too. ive lost 37.8ibs so far. it hasnt been easy but the support is great. i went to an OA meeting and didnt feel comfortable there but love weight watchers. hope to give you support. good luck

Hi Erin! I would love to have your support! I've been looking for an OAer that does WW, so you are perfect! I will PM you my e-mail. Thank you!

Ok, I have to have 10 posts to PM you. 2 more to go!