Heather, this is a wonderful thread.
and
Ammi I feel EXACTLY the same as you! Since that "magic" 100 mark, I've had almost ZERO motivation or determination, even though I really do want to lose the rest!
WHY?
Do I feel like a failure? Yes, a bit. I
know I've lost 100 lbs. But the fact is 70 of those were lost the first year. 30 the second (or close to the second). I'm well into year 3 of this and I haven't lost any to speak of. In fact, I recently went to the doctor and I'm up to 230 again. (Does that mean I can no longer say I've lost 100? I suppose so.) I've
gained six lbs since my lowest of 226. I have 40 more lbs to get to my initial goal of my driver's license weight of 190, which I haven't changed since I was 19! If I could lose 70 in 12 months - WTH has it taken me
19 more to lose 30? Why am I not exercising? Why am I eating ice cream at 9 p.m.? Why am I still FAT?
Do I feel like a fraud? Yes, a bit. I'm still
saying that I'm working on it...but as I said before - I'm apparently not. I make excuses. I'm stressed. I'm busy. I'm tired. I'm rushed. I'm too stressed to worry about food. I too
tired to get up in the morning to work out. My husband's hours (he get's up at 5p.m. and goes to work at 10 p.m.) prevents me from cooking healthy meals. And every lb that goes on or doesn't go off makes me feel like I don't belong here where people are
really trying.
So....should I feel that way? Not as a failure, no. I do really believe that the only way to fail is to not try. I am wearing missy sizes for the first time in something like 10 years. (And then it was only for a few months after a loss and before a gain.) My gain has been relatively small and I know how it happened. I'm in better shape than I've been in years. I still look at food and think, "Boy! How fattening is that!" Even if I
choose to eat the wrong things sometimes, I
think about it and that's new, and different, from before. I have changed, permanently, and that's not failure. As a fraud? The fact is I
HAVE had a ton of crapola dumped on me lately. I may
be making some excuses - but I'm not lying about it. I just have to try harder to figure out how to overcome the obstacles that have popped up!
I agree with what everyone else has said...we tend to judge ourselves too harshly. I think as long as we don't give up...
really give up, and go back to our "old ways", we're actually way ahead of the game.