Right on track, eating very well, very few slip ups, and then today it happens.
It is a planned day off, all holidays are (a quilt-free day to look forward to), but I go into the grocery store to get Whipped Cream for the dessert I am making for my family's BBQ (lots of veggies and rice for me, just a little of the "forbidden" stuff) and I saw her, one of the many "skinny minnies" out there that taunt me and make me cry in frustration daily, and she is buying bottles of light green tea. I look down at the whipped cream (and the vanilla ice cream I bought on impulse. Hey, my family likes it! Goes great with the dessert I'm making) and it occurs to me why I will probably never look like her. She is buying tea...I am buying sugary cr*p. You eat cr*p, you look and feel like cr*p. I know this! Grrr!!!
I feel like I can never, ever be like her, because part of me doesn't want to change, I mean really, really change, and is holding on to the old me that really, really loves cr*p. I've been working on it for years, and here I am. Basically the same 'ol chubby girl, forever and always, deep down, holding on tight with all her might. Sound strange? Sound familiar? Please tell me that it is possible to change, even deep, deep down changes that never seem to go away.
Heidi
180/165, by the skin of my teeth/normal