On Sunday, I went grocery shopping and really did a good job planning out my meals. I start off yesterday morning being all postive. I was great for breakfast and lunch, very few calories, dinner and snacks all planned out, and then BAM!, my husband surprises me with spaghetti, my favorite! When I get around spaghetti, I'm sucking it down like there's no tomorrow! Major weakness for me! I didn't even stop and see if I have any chopped tomatoes or something to put in it to bulk it up....sucked it down, 2 bowls full, as is, in 2 seconds flat! Grrr!!!
Ok, this morning I get up, have it all planned out. Great breakfast and lunch again. This time it will be different..I'm in control. BAM! Hubby gets some extra work cash from my dad and he wants to take the family out for chinese food! Grrr!!!! I cannot say no! It's going out, which we rarely do anymore. Major treat. And you'd think I would make good choices, the willpower I have and all....nope. Get the big plate of salty chicken, salty noodles and salty rice. I can still taste the salt and my body is starting to really feel bloated now. Been pouring the water down me all night, and now I'm going to have to pee till daybreak. Grrr!!!
Here I go again tomorrow. How do I get the back bone to say no and think ahead to how thin will feel even greater than the food going in me now? Why can't I just get it? I want it bad enough. I have my meals all planned out. Hubby knows how I feel, but he's a bit selfish. If he wants to go out, the family goes with him (food is his entertainment). If he wants to cook me a big meal, it's because he wants the food too. I can and should say "NO!" but I never do. Why is that? Please help me! I've talked to hubby about this but he just doesn't understand, and I'm too weak to fight it 100%. I LOVE good food. It's been a huge part of our lives for 12 years now.
Thanks for listening. I need to get more water. I'm so puffy my eyes are nearly shut and my fingers are so swollen I can barely type!
Heidi
180/170/139