I'm so depressed. I've been sick for a few weeks, went to the urgent care, got weighted, and about fainted at the number on the scale. I've regained all I lost, and more. I'm scared to try and fail again. I'm having a tough time getting restarted.

I know that exercise and what I eat is the key to making a successful transformation. I've been exercising more consistently since joining a gym in Jan, but sickness of both me, spouse, and kiddos has derailed that. Of course, in the time that I was working out, I didn't lose anything ... and it is all due to my eating.

I need to change. I need to dig deep and rediscover the fire and the passion. I need to rededicate myself to changing *me* at the core, because the deep committment is what it will take. I'm not looking to be the next fitness model, I just want to be a healthy and active role model for my kiddos, who doesn't have such a hard time bending over to get her shoes on (as embarrasing as that is to admit.) I want to be able to paint my toe nails.

Right now, I'm scared that I can't lose, even though I have done it before. I'm scared to make the changes, and to invest the hard work that I know it will take.

I need to sit down and focus on the benefits of changing, and what I will gain by changing ... and weigh it all against the risk of staying this way. I need to look at my unhappiness at my figure, and make the commitment to the exercise daily and awareness of eating, and the planning that the menus take, in order to make the changes I want to see. I need to commit to it long term. I need to rehash my daily schedule to fit in daily time for exercise at home.

So - help me get started. Remind me that the work and the effort put into it properly will get me results, no matter how hard I try to tell myself that it is useless.

I leave on vacation next Wed for 7 days. I'm hoping to 'move' a bit more daily, with walks along the beach, swimming in the pool and ocean. I also want to take advantage of the sports - kayaking, fitness room, etc. But when I return home, it will be time to get serious, but I want to have my plan in mind before then, so I don't feel lost.

Welcome to the board. Use this vacation to rejuvinate YOU. Feel good on the inside, and feel good about the mountain you are about to climb. Once you start exercising regularly I bet your feelings and moods will improve. You will feel like you can float on air the day you wake up and put on your pants and they sink down your frame. That day will come!

Check out the section on the forum geared towards before and after stories and pictures. Those are AMAZING. When I feel depressed and hopeless I look at the stories and photos of the men and women there that have battled the odds to get to where they are now, and maintaining the weight! They are such inspirations and I can't wait to be able to say I met my goal and are where I feel like I need to be.

Keep your chin up, enjoy your vacation and we'll be right here waiting for you when you get back.... encouraging you along this new journey!