I have to say that as I have read through this thread I have found myself thinking about the MANY times in my life that I have run into sabotage...AND NOT RECOGNIZED IT!! I'll bet THAT'S why I gained over 100 pounds!
- didn't want to appear ungrateful, impolite
- wanted to BLEND IN with the group
- wanted to bond with friends and their habits
- didn't want to offend well-wishers
ETC. ETC. ETC.
Honestly, I think I was on some other planet until a few years ago when I finally got my head in gear and began to stand up for myself!!
Combatting sabotage for me has first meant caring for myself enough to think of my own needs and wants and desires. This is very new territory for me, because I have spent a lifetime thinking of everyone else FIRST. I STILL stay up late and wake up early so that I have time FOR ME that is just for me. It is still very difficult for me to not try to constantly make everyone's life a great life as I deny myself what I want. I struggle with this DAILY.
After I realized that I was a worthwhile person and deserved to be happy, I began to get better at asking for what I needed from others. It is still very hard for me to rely on others and ask for help, but I am working on it. Part of my asking for help plan has been in explaining to my MIL why I can't have seconds of her delicious food. I have also explained to my husband that if I continue to be his late-night eating buddy, I will NOT lose the weight that I want to lose. With my friends I have to tell them that I will be at Happy Hour but I will be drinking water and passing up the 1/2 price appetizers. I have to act friendly, speak kindly but firmly, and project confidence in my choice to do things that will HELP my effort and not thwart it. It is EXHAUSTING to me!
Losing weight has shown me that I AM a worthwhile person. When I was 275 pounds I did not believe that I was.