Okay, a few threads that have been written recently and over the past few months (including some posts I wrote as well) got me to thinking......
Does the perception of something as a "binge" lead to a greater possibility of purging?
I think yes.
I NEED to get out of the mindset that chicken fingers for dinner is NOT a freaking binge objectively speaking. I might have felt "out of control" eating it but that does not truly make it a "binge" by basically any standard.
I think that when I eat an unwise food item I can *panic*, think that I have "binged" and then proceed to have an anxiety attack until I purge.
I almost did that today. I had a total of 1750cal by 6pm. I was at 1600c which I'll admit that I didn't feel comfortable with because it means no weight loss for the day (not even a 20th of a lb for me). And then I had some cantaloupe. That ended up setting me over the edge. I nearly frickin purged because I had 150cal worth of cantaloupe.
Thankfully I got a grip and didn't purge or have an anxiety attack because I didn't purge. I'll admit that I am not 100% happy with my calorie intake for the day, but I am doing a lil bit better I think.
And all in all, that is progress for me. A few months ago the cantaloupe would have been dutifully upped into the toilet.
So, for me I think that alot of my issues with food may revolve around negative thinking fueling my initial inclinations to "binge" and purge.
So, I need to accept that a "binge" is NOT a couple of cookies or a single chocolate bar or a single chicken finger dinner or a few cups of melon---- or even really all of those things put together!
I think that I need to get ahold of myself during times when I am not thinking clearly to get an accurate perception of the truth of whether I binged or just made some bad choices that I need to live with and accept as a natural occasional part of life and move on.