last week 230
this week 227
loss this week 3
total loss 83!!
im so pysched today, because last night i pulled on a pair of size 17 JUNIOR (not junior plus) jeans and they fit. and they looked so much better on me than the baggy saggy clothes ive been wearing. plus, when i looked into the mirror this morning, i did not see a 'fat girl'. i saw a normal girl who was a little chubby but not remarkably fat at all. that is so weird for me.
i have only two really distinct scale related memories. i remember stepping on the scale when i was 13 (and much shorter, probably 5'7 where as im 5'11 now) and seeing something like 185 and thinking 'omg im going to weigh 200 pounds!' and then in 2005 when i stepped on the doctors scale at 18 years old and saw 310 and immediatly decided i had to start losing weight. so from a 185lb child to a 310lb adult, i never knew how much i weighed.
every day i look in the mirror and its the thinnest ive ever been. im a different person every day. its so weird. it makes me sort of anxious sometimes and i feel like i dont know who i am half the time.
i dont know, i know im rambling but this whole thing is a little overwhelming and i feel like im having a sort of identity crisis. can anyone relate? this should be a good thing, and it is, but its also got all of these negatives attatched.