Okay - so I went to the doctor today for some of my final results.....
So the results were not that good and it looks like they found a new problem. I spent the afternoon wondering why the h3!! should I bother?!
I have spent the last several months changing EVERYTHING about my life. I am talking 360 degree turnaround and with the exception of getting my sugar under control and bringing my cholesterol down. (Thought my blood pressure was better until they took me off of one of my meds and it was back up to 189/119)
I am really trying to stay committed and to keep my chin up but part of me is really asking why bother?
It looks like I am facing "long-term kidney damage", tomorrow I have to go get my lung x-rayed again because of something found on the first set. They are having me try out some new meds that won't be so hard on my kidney's but there is a good possibility they won't work on me. But, I did find out that because they were changing my meds and blood pressure has been up so high - I am retaining a lot of fluids (she was talking pounds of fluids) - so once they get things straightened out - I should start losing real weight - instead of ounces at a time. I guess that is one good thing out the appointment.
I know the only real answer is to suck it up, stay with it - every cloud has a silver lining, this too shall pass.
But, to be honest - for all of my keep stiff upper lip cheerfulness, right now - it seems that someone has stolen my happy place.