OMG ive been so bad today! lets see. i started out realy well, fruit and whatnot. then the rest of the day happend.

1. Smore
2. Hot chocolate
3. ANOTHER Smore
4. a Stromboli ( soo much grease and cheese)::
5. more hot chocolate (oh the marshmellows)
6. dinner, pasta with a butter sauce (my arteries were crying)
7. Chinese food (double cooked pork and white rice)

i dont know what got into me today. i felt bad about everything i did. (but the chinese was oooh so good) im usually so aware of what i do. but ...i dont know. im freking out. ive just recently commited to myself to get healthy and if i cant make it very long without breaking like this, im not sure how im gonna make it through.
its so tough, my friends and whatnot dont want to take me seriously. every time i say i dont want something that i deem unhealthy, they just flop their hands at me and go "pphht". they just blow it off like im blowing hot air.
its so hard to get them to see. my best friends are both thin and look good. they have never been fat, ever , i have been all my life. i cant make them understand. both of them have the metabolism of my dreams. tehy dont think twice about what they eat or how healthy it is. im trying to be so good. but the trouble is all around me, work, school, home. rrrrrrrr its so frustrating! talk me down...ooooy vay!
i want to explain it to them but im sooo embaressed about it. you know, they dont understand, and i dont want to make a fool of myself. ive mentioned it befor briefly, but they just wave me off and tell me its nothing that i need to worry about. that i look fine, but you know, i dont look fine, and i dont feel fine and i cant make them understand it. sometimes rick, one of my best friends, will make comments about heavy people on tv and stuff like that, calling them ugly and fat. i want to smack him and he never understands why i get so defensive. he says im ' not fat like them' but , thats not the point, and well...it feels hopeless.


oy vay...i cant seem to win. ::sigh::

Hey Samantha.. first of all, don't worry about what you ate today, just start fresh tomorrow and move on. It's no big deal, don't worry.. Days like this happen, that's just life. Secondly, I think you should stop worrying about trying to "make them understand". You don't have to justify what you do and don't want to eat. I know it's hard to resist temptation, especially when it seems like friends or relatives are trying to dissuade you, but practice refusing a few times and it will get easier. Only you are responsible for your choices. Politely decline if you don't want to eat something and don't let them cause you to feel bad about it. Eventually they will realize you are serious and hopefully start being more supportive. But their attitude is not your problem, all you can do is control how you act! Good luck! You can do this.

It happens to everyone - just move on and get back on the program tomorrow. Don't try to overcompensate either -- binge/starve cycles are a setup for failure.

As for your friends, unless they're forcefeeding you the junk, you ultimately still have the final say about what goes into your mouth. If eating out, pick healthier options and eat smaller portions. If spending a day at someone's place where you know food will be involved, bring your own healthy options! Instead of diving for someone's chips, go for your veggie sticks, etc. And of course, learn how to say "no" and be firm about it-- or fib and say you already ate and are full.

You can also try putting together more active gatherings, instead of eating out, try jogging together - or maybe go dancing @ a club (easy on the drinks though...)

And if you have any more unhealthy foods lying around your place/work, give them away or throw them out & stock up on the healthy stuff.

Okay, you had a bad day. You have to be able to move past it. One thing that helps me is to see this as an opportunity to learn something. Don't see it as a failure, but an chance to give yourself some feedback.

Ask yourself: WHY do you think you binged? WHAT set it off? WHAT allowed it to keep going? And perhaps most importantly, the next time you're in a similar situation, WHAT could you do differently so it doesn't happen again?

Maybe being able to answer these questions will help you maintain better habits in the long term. GOOD LUCK!

today is a new day

I see a lot of people come here and talk about craving Chinese. Wal*Mart has Chinese meals called Tai Pei. Some of them are low carbs and a couple of those are even lower in sodium. You just have to read the labels. I get those from time-to-time. They're generally around 200 cals. I have a Garlic Shrimp one in the freezer now. It's a higher sodium content. I think the Bourbon Chicken is lower though.

chinese = my weakness