I am starting to feel a peace with food which is great. But I have been thinking a lot about the emotional/social side of food.
I see a lot (here and in diet books) about "food is fuel" only.
But for me I dont think it is realistic to assume that someday I will see food purely as fuel.
What I AM finding lately is the ability to differentiate between "I deserve" food and "I desire" food. The difference between a treat and a reward maybe? It is really hard to put into words. The difference between "I have been really good so I get to have icecream" , "I hate myself right now so I am going to eat icecream even though I dont really want it" , "I am stressed and NEED ice cream" and "I am out for a nice evening with my husband and we are going to extend the evening and share a dessert because we want it and I can make it part of my life" (of course the second dessert was served the babysitter called )
Bottom line is I enjoy everything about going out to eat. I dont think that is ever going to change and I am starting to think that it doesnt have to, to be successful. I like the tastes and experience of food. I like the atmosphere and socialization. Food is a sensory experience and I dont feel the need to remove that part of joy.
Wow, I was hoping that typing it out would make it a little clearer in my mind what I am starting to come to terms with. Nope, still confused and cloudy
Maybe you can explain it to me!