Back in HS, I was a dancer and gymnast and a muscular 115 #s. By 18 (thanks to birth control), I was up to 125 or so. When I got pregnant with my first son I was 127 and had no idea I would be waving goodbye to bikinis forever. I hit 181 by the end of the pregnancy and even though he weighed near 10#s and I breastfed, I stalled at 165. I've managed to bust butt and lose SOME of the weight between babies, but despite gaining less with each one, I still got to about 180 and then stalled at 165 everytime.
Two years ago I changed everything and finally got going on the weight loss. I got down to 132 in about 6 months and was fit and toned. I did pilates, counted calories, cut carbs and sugar dramatically, ate whole grain stuff and ran 5 or 6 miles a few times a week. It was awesome. I really thought it was a lifestyle change, and didn't worry about gaining it back, since I never had any dramatic weight gain when I wasn't pregnant. Well, I started gaining weight last summer and I'm more than halfway back to where I started (165#). Despite best intentions I hover between 145 and 150. I have been under a lot of stress and usually tell myself I'm too tired to workout, and I'm a chronic sweets snacker.
It's not just my weight that bothers me. My body is WRECKED. I do not have a stomach, I have a mass of stretch marks. I think I could be happy at my current weight and size (8), if it was smooth, but it's a mess. I want to loss as much as possible so I can get it fixed in a few years. Sometimes I've thought, maybe I should just be fat, because they didn't look as bad, but at least when I'm thin, I can look good clothed. You know my husband doesn't care, but I DO!! I want to have no fat on my stomach, just the skin, so that when I get it fixed they take as much ugly as possible. Someday I want to have a belly button again!!
Hope you don't mind chatty people! Nice to meet ya'll!
__________________