Well, last night and today I have had the flu, so as much as I would LOVE to have said I have been abstinent from binging, I have now for 52 hours, however... the last 30 of that has been the flu I think. Today I had a first... I couldn't even look at food without wanting to get sick, eventhough I was hungry. I know part of it, well most of it, had to do with the flu, but there is a part of me that is grossed out with food right now... I watched my sister eat 4 pieces of chocolate cake, and I was like totally grossed out... I wasn't tempted at all, I was disgusted that she ate that much, thinking about how honestly I have been thinking of what I put in my mouth, and how much, and she's battled with bulimia for over 14 years and I have just started my "battle" with over eating... I looked at her grossed out... Then later my husband offered me a brownie, which usually I would be all over that, however I gagged at the thought of the brownie, which I know mostly had to do with being sick, but in the past, no matter how sick I was I would still have at least tried to eat the darn thing. I am truly looking forward to working on this, I know food will be a battle the rest of my life, but I am honestly looking forward to seeing how strong I can be, and how I can truly work with my tools and succeed, hopefully. It is very nice to not feel so full all the time that I can't breathe, and It also feels nice not to have constant reflux from eating too much of the wrong foods all the time, these past 2 days have been the fist in a very long time where I have not had constant reflux... so even though I probably have not lost any weight as of yet, I am already feeling better. (well in some ways... ) I did go grocery shopping tonight, to pick up some small things, which was kind of scary, but I did realize that I don't have to give up everything that i enjoy with food... I just cannot eat as much of it.. so once i realized that it became much easier for me while shopping. I did buy some healthier options in food, but I don't have to give up everything that tastes good... which was nice to realize I guess I worried I would have to eat cardboard for food, and that was a big fear of mine. And like yesterday I had made a nice big dinner for the family and invited my friend over, I told myself, and her I would have one plate and no returns for seconds and thirds like I usually do... I didn't even finish 1/2 of my first place, because I listened to my body, and ironically I was quite full, however I usually would push it so far I would become "numb" to the full feeling.. So I am trying to be very conscious of how much I eat, now as much what I eat... Not saying I won't eat food that is healthy, but saying I do not have to give everything up at once.

Sorry to hear you were sick, glad your feeling better.

Thanks for the post. It's great to hear about others journey in OA.

Also, I read a few pages of the book you mentioned in another post, then I requested it from my library. Thank for mentioning it. I need to read about peoples experiences. Thanks.