I was reading step 10 in the OA 12 & 12 last night and came across this sentence at the bottom of pg.83:

"Step ten calls for daily repetition of these actions (working the first 9 steps), following the new patterns, so that we may experience recovery every day."

So, if I want recovery every day, I need to work my program every day. If I slack off...my recovery will slack off. That makes sense to me. I experienced this cause and effect this week. I haven't been doing my nightly 10th step inventory. I haven't been reading EVERY day. My disease snuck back into my sick mind. It didn't entice me with food, but it drew out some of my character defects that I thought had been left in the past.

Thanks Marny.

I too had some anxiety this week. Last Saturday I had an experience that left me very depressed. I was following my routine but felt unable to connect with my program. The depression and saddnes tainted everything and sourounded me with an urge to eat.

I couldn't understand why, even though I was working the same program I had been, I was stuck in this depression and food thoughts.

What I learned is that It did pass. Late wednesday night I started to feel better. Yesterday was a good day, and today feels even better. For 5 days I struggled, worrying that I would never feel better. But it passed and I am gratefull.

I need to remember that hard times will come. I will not always know why or be able to fix them. But I do need to have faith that my HP will take care of me and I will see better times again.

Marny - I know just what you mean. It is a daily thing we need to do. How do you do the 1oth step at night? Do you write or just go over the day in your mind.
Janet

Christy-
Yeah...feeling those feelings sucks. But, feelings are part of life, and they'll be there whether we try to stuff them down with a substance or not. That's awesome that you remembered that "this too will pass." I really needed to hear that from my sponsor this week. It helped a lot. Hurray that you are feeling better.

Janet-
I've found that I really need to write down my daily 10th step. If I don't, it's too easy to pass over the ugly stuff or fall asleep. I posted a word document on this forum somewhere that I use. It includes:

Resentments:
Fears:
Dishonesty:
Self Seeking:
Amends Needed:
What I did well:
Gratitude List:
How can I be of Service:


I've also added a few things to it including:

How and when did I see my personal defects removed?
When did I act on faith?
When was I accepting and forgiving?
When was I wrong?