Hi everyone!

I came across this site while cooking for diets that would actually work!

I'm 24, female and from the UK, however, I've lived my entire life all over the world thx to my parents jobs.

I weigh 120kg and I'm a Size UK 20-22 which is depressing enough. 7 years ago, I weighed 64kg and was a Size UK 8-10.

I detest what I've become, I hate looking in the mirror, and I want to change my body image for the better.

My weight gain started when I came back to the UK. I was 17, away from my parents and in boarding school in England. All the food served was fried, the same things daily (fries, chicken nuggets, fish fingers, chicken burgers). Of course, we had to eat it otherwise we'd starve. They never had any healthy options.

I was also bullied at the school because of my upbringing and the fact that I had an American accent, even though I was British. All the girls in my dorm (I shared with 5 girls) were a Size UK 6-8). I looked fat compared to them, so I started comfort eating. In no time, my weight ballooned and I could no longer recognise who I used to be.

I was raped when I was 14 by 2 men I thought were friends, and I never told anyone what happened as I was too ashamed (my parents still do not know), however when I was 18, I became extremely depressed, started binge eating and taking diet pills. I never made myself sick but I ate and ate to make myself better, but it never did.

I'm now nearly 25, and I want to my "normal" again. I hate having to search for hours for clothes that fit, I hate getting comments from people saying I'm fat, and I hate feeling worthless.

My mother does make things worse by telling me how fat and ugly I am since I put all this weight on, and instead of doing something about it, I instantly go in search of food. Now I can't take it anymore....

In approx 4 months when I turn 25, I want to dramatically change how I look. I want to force myself to change my lifestyle habits and I hopefully want to be on my way to a Size UK 12 (I know it will take longer than 4 months to become that, but hopefully not far off it!).

I know my introduction is pretty long, but I guess it's better I get everything off my chest as I'm serious about doing this, for the long term.

I think everyone here will give me the kick up my butt that I need to actually do something about it. I need motivation and I need help because I don't know where to start!

Thanks Everyone <3

Micha, welcome. You have come to a great place for support and encouragement. I'm very sorry to hear what you have gone through and I know personally how it can affect your attitude and your life. Comfort eating was my way of coping with things previously too. You can turn this around and become the healthy person that you desire to be. I don't know what type of plan you have in mind. But, it's always good to start by cutting out soda and junk foods. Exercise of any kind is better than none at all. I do mostly just simple walking. Many people here use Fitday to log their food. It gives calories, carbs, protein, fat grams to help you see what you are getting.
I know that others will have great advice for you. I'm wishing you the best of success on your way to a healthy life.

Welcome Micha and good luck to you. You have deffinately come to the right place for support and encouragement. You will find a whole bunch of people here that share the same goal as you and who have all felt the way that you feel right now. I would like to add that I think you should also look for support to help you cope with the things that have happened to you. Sometimes we think that our weight is the source of all of our problems, when really, the source of our problems may be causing the additional problems such as over eating and binge eating. I too, am a survivor of rape by someone that I thought was my friend and it really messed me up. It took me a long time to realize that it wasn't my fault. Don't suffer it alone. There are support groups out there that I think you would find beneficial.

Once again, good luck on your journey to better health and congrats on taking the first step.

Welcome, Micha! I think you've stumbled on the right place. I feel for you and all that you have been through.

You say you're unmotivated, but by having a goal and posting here you ARE showing motivation so don't sell yourself short!! Do you know much about nutrition or have any thoughts about the type of eating plan that sounds appealing to you? If not, do look around here. I think every reasonable diet around is represented here among people who have struggled with food just like you. Missie is so right that fat is often just a symptom rather than the cause and you make find a lot of benefit in talking to a professional about your experiences.

But aside from that, we are all here for you! I hope you find the support you are looking for. Post often and you will find a lot of kindred spirits who will cheer you on when you do well, hold your hand when you stumble, and kick you when you need it!

Take care,

Welcome MiCha! WE are all in this together ANd we will Give you all the encouragment we can give! Best Of luck!

thx everyone, there is so much to go through in this site. I'm not sure what eating plan I'm going to go on, but I already have cut out chocolate, potato chips and soda. So I guess that's a start!

I also need to start exercising so I'm looking into that too!

There are a ton of exercise threads on here and you can get much needed info. I'm sorry you have to go thru the pain of others unkindness. You are a Beautiful woman........always believe in yourself. If you need to talk please feel free.