hi ladies i haven't been here in a while but i thought i would just look to you ladies for encouragement and advice. i have been struggling with my weight forever and i just can't get motivated. i have a membership to a gym and my hubby also but i swear sometimes i think he is out to mess me up. take tonight for instance, i really was trying to be good. i thought it was late and i didn't need to eat but he kept pushing me and pushing me to eat so i finally got something from mcdonald's with him, every since he got hurt on the job all he does is sit home and eat. i told him he needs to get out and workout everytime i mention going to the gym he makes up some excuse, then he says we'll go tomorrow but the next day it is the same thing, excuses, excuses, excuses. we have no children and we really want some and we both are overweight and i don't really want us to be fat parents. i am fast approaching my 30th bday and he is fast approaching his 40th. i said we need to get in shape for our children if we have any, he says i will be when i find out you are pregnant. he doesn't understand i dont' want to be a fat mother nor do i want to be a single parent. sorry for the long story but i felt i need to get it out. i am currently trying to figure out a home work out plan because if he doesn't want to get it together i have to get it together for me. thanks ladies for reading
stacey

Stacey: First of all, This is a great place for inspiration, understanding or a if that's what you need!

Second, Having a unsupportive mate can be the hardest thing for a diet. Topped only by calling it a diet! When we have so much to lose, the only thing to do is literally change how you live. It sounds like you are ready and willing to do just that, but you are getting sabotaged by the person who needs to be changing his lifestyle with you. I don't have that problem now, because my DH and I are doing this together. Sure we lead each other astray once in a while, but more often than not, all is well. I did have a problem similar to you in college though. My roommates and I were supposed to be dieting...more often than not we'd start out for aerobics only to end up at Pizza Hut!

The only advice I can think of is to NOT wait on your husband. You are going to have to take charge. Do you do the cooking? Then have healthy meals and snacks ready and waiting. Do you do the shopping? Don't buy junk! If he asks for it he'll have to go get it himself. Do you want to go work-out? GO! Maybe when he sees how good you are feeling and looking you'll become his motivation.

That's so easy for me to say and SO HARD to do! I know it isn't that simple, especially when you love someone and they say, "Don't go out, stay home and watch a movie with me." You feel like you have to do what they suggest. Leading the way is way harder and way scarier than following along. Even when you are working at it motivation can be tricky. I'm struggling with motivation myself right now and I have tons of support at home.

BUT making even small changes can be a great start. I know that is true! The fact that you are here shows you are willing to work at this. So, again, welcome! I hope this site gives you all the insite and support you need.

Hiya, welcome here too, I am new here but am searching like you for help along the way. It is tough when other people make it harder for us, but then again we are the only ones who can take responsibilities for ourselves, I know like Lilion says, its easier said than done, but we have to lead the way somtimes. My hubby can eat for England and hes very very tall, so can handle the calories, I have to say no all the time or I'd be nearer 500 pounds I think!!

You can do it and here;s to the future

Em x

Stacey –

It is hard to go by yourself, but it sounds like for now you might have to. You can’t make your husband do things (just think if it was the other way around!) but you can inspire him. When you start going and start feeling better and more energized, he will see that and hopefully start wanting to go with you. My BF also loves fast food and mostly I won’t eat it. Often times he feels like somehow that means I am doing something against him, but it’s not like that. He can get it if he wants, but just because he wants it doesn’t mean I do.

Your husband may in some ways be sabotaging you for any number of reasons. He may feel pressure to lose weight if you start doing it and maybe for some reason he feels uncomfortable about that. Maybe he worries that when you start to lose weight you will be more attractive to other men and he might get jealous. There can be a whole host of reasons. The important thing is, if you aren’t happy about how things are going you need to talk to him about it. You can’t change what he does for himself, but you deserve to do what you want to do for yourself.

Keep posting and let us know how it goes!

Thanks Ladies For The Words Of Advice And Encouragement, I Want Him To Be With Me Because He Is Soon To Be 40 Years Old And I Don't Want Anything To Happen To Him. So Far He Has No Known Health Issues And I Would Like To Keep It That Way, Maybe If He Does See Me He Will Want To Make A Change For Himself, Thanks Again Ladies
Stacey

You might enjoy the IE thread.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...=1#post1490842