How have I used excess food to escape life's problems?

I have been thinking about this one. At first I thought, Well...I eat it!

Then I started thinking about how I love to eat alone at night. Being alone was a big part of it. Also the t.v. or a book. I would start a book (trashy romance being my favorite! ) or put in a movie and eat away.

When I am alone and wraped up in a fictional story, while feeding my addiction, the escape is complete. No worries, no stress, no problems.

I always hated to be interupted because it brought me back to reality.

I never realized I had a problem until I came into OA. Oh I Knew that I was overweight, but it never dawned on me that I was eating to escape. Being in OA and doing the steps is like finding a secret room in my head where a mirrored door slides open to reveal a life long stroy unfolding. The truth was I hoarded food, gorged at buffets as though someone or something was going to take it away. I was eating as though my survival counted on it. In the insanity of it all I was surrounding my body in fat as a protective layer, so bad things and nasty comments couldn't pierce the protective fat layer. It was mental armour. Now I realize that the emotional baggage I was hiding from can be dealt with in other ways and food is not a salve. I liken it to heroin, for a temporary high and release from reality but the crash gets harder as we get older and our bodies get use to the load.

It was a temporary escape (the sugar rush). Now I enjoy the escape of meditation and seeing where my HP and minds eye take me with this new found room.

Happy abstinence.
Carlady

You guys are awesome. You are helping yourselves AND being of great service to others who read this forum. What you've written nails it on the head.

I have been so busy with school work I have not answered the questions.
I have used food as an escape in that when I am alone, I have used it as a comfort. I have sat there, and mindlessly ate things that I knew were not good for me, but continued. I was not hungry but I just needed comfort. I have used food to be my companion instead of calling a friend.
I am so greatful for the tools of OA because I am more aware of what I am doing, and able to stop myself before a binge and give it over to the God of my understanding
Thanks for letting me share
Denise

Hey Denise!
Great to hear from you.