This is today's reading in the OA book For Today. It really spoke to me--I think it says it all.

"Freedom isn't free. It costs something. The source of all the blessings I have recieved needs my support to stay alive and strong. I support my freedom from compulsive overeating by:
--being willing to give up the pleasure as well as the pain of excess food, abstaining no matter what.
--nurturing my spiritual condition through daily contact with a Power greater than myself, even if it is limited to an expression of thanks.
--practicing the twelve steps to the best of my ability.
--taking responsibility for keeping OA alive by attending meetings as a personal commitment and doing service at whatever level it is needed.
--contributing as much as I can afford toward the cost of carrying the message and maintaining OA services at all levels."

For Today: Does the support I give my freedom come close to this checklist?

I love the line -being able to give up the pleasure as well as the pain of excess food, abstaining no matter what.-

Right now I am still so close to the pain of it. It was just last week that the pain was all consuming. When I see those foods, (like the Halloween loot my kids have) I see pain. There may come a time when the pain fades and I see happiness in those foods. This is when my commitment, my work twords freedom, will matter most.

I like that line too Christy. It honestly acknowledges that food has been pleasurable for us in the past. For some of us, it has been our only pleasure even if it caused us pain too. We were willing at some level to endure that pain because we didn't know a better way to fill up whatever void we personally dealt with.

So that makes me think that I don't want food to be the enemy anymore. I want to get to the level where I am able to consume food for life and be grateful for it nournishing my body. But, respect the trigger foods like I would respect a wild animal: be aware of places they might be and take precautions to protect myself from it. Sorry for the cheesy analogy! It just came to mind haha.

Also, what's new for me is turing my food over to my HP. When I start to get a little mentally "crazy" about food (like the Halloween loot Christy mentioned), I try to keep reminding myself to silently pray or hold an intention to be free from those thoughts and see if there are underlying feelings I should be dealing with instead. Something I've NEVER done before. This has had lead me to want to pray about the other smaller stuff in my life too, not just the biggies.

Charlene

I love this. Thanks, Marny. I really relate to the pleasure/pain of excess food. For me, I have to constantly submit my thoughts to my HP because I still view all excess food, all trigger foods, all of it seems like pleasure to me. The pain is only in the results: the COMPLETE insanity of my life if I am not abstinent, the weight gain, etc. So I am working at a "no food porn" policy. I don't think about it, covet it, spend time pondering it. I just keep surrendering this to my HP. And He takes it away and I am focused on what I really need to be doing with my time!

Lindy

"no food porn" That's priceless! Thank You Lindy! I love your picture-you are a cutie pie.

Charlene- "When I start to get a little mentally "crazy" about food (like the Halloween loot Christy mentioned), I try to keep reminding myself to silently pray or hold an intention to be free from those thoughts and see if there are underlying feelings I should be dealing with instead."

You've got it girlfriend. Listening to those feelings, and just feeling them instead of eating is daily.

Crispy- Yes, yes, and yes. :-) I don't know if I'll ever see happiness in those foods, but my hope is that I continue to lack desire for them and they continue to look like poison to me.

Thanks Charlenej, slimlindy, ChrispyMama and Marny

Thank you for sharing the words "asking HP to take it away." I never thought about giving the "food porn" thoughts to HP and asking that they be removed from my minds eye.
I look at people enjoying those 'trigger foods" and I use to think that someday I would again enjoy them. Your comments made me realize that I will never have them again, because they are "wild animals" or "heroin" to me. What a change in mindset when it is put in that perspective.

Thanks for sharing the "asking HP to take it away", that really struck a homerun with me today!!!!

Have a fabulously abstinent day.
CL