I guess I have always known that I have been overfat, but right now I am just feeling so afraid of me! I have done a number of online calculators and gotten on my scale to calculate my body fat%, and they all put me between 31 and 35% body fat. That is definitely obese and I am just so sad and disgusted at myself.

I have been mostly consistent with my eating since I began "the journey" officially in July. My exercise, however, has been off and on. In the last two weeks I have been trying hard to be good and consistent about exercise. I have been doing cardio dance videos, and some of the Firm's toning videos.

I guess I know what I should be doing. I need to actually do the exercise. I need to build muscle. Doing videos with actual dumbbells has been kind of exhilerating.

I have realized recently how beautiful it is to be strong. I never thought I would be able to be strong. I guess I am afraid to let myself succeed.

So, I do think that the side-effects of getting strong will be great. (Having more lean muscle that will help me burn fat more effectively sounds amazing) But lately I have just been thinking that I have this one body given to me, and I have the ability to be strong if I want to, and I think I want to.

I guess any encouragement you can send my way I would really appreciate. I think I want to be strong..... but I am sort of scared to let myself succeed. Does this make sense? Is anyone in the same boat? OR have you been in this boat and you got past it?

I'm in the same boat with you. I'm so afraid to let go of my old habits because I feel that I won't be able to enjoy food but in all actuality the food (which is not good food, just junk "comfort" food) I've eaten is what's ruining me. My past is holding me back, and I'm afraid to try and get past it.

You just have to take it day by day. Don't kill yourself for eating the wrong thing or not exercising one day. Take it slow and you'll get there.

I wouldn't put too much stock in an online calculator for body fat.The scales aren't too reliable either.I have 19%body fat and yet my scales say i have 40.

I used this little machine at the beginning of my Weight Loss Camp that you hold at arm's length/chest height and it calculated my body fat to be over 33%! It was in the moderately high to high range, and it even predicted my obesity was "hidden" (it's all in my thighs so I look really thin if I wear black pants or a skirt). What's a good online calculator I could use to compare the results?

Oh I am right on that boat. I'm also around the same range as you, weight-wise. Online calculators aren't exactly dependable so I wouldn't consider that accurate. However, I heard that many people are not aware of how much % of body fat they have, even those who weigh at 120 lbs could have 25% body fat and less lean muscle yet still appear to look fine at that weight (and lack lean muscle). So don't worry too much, think of lowering that % . I myself fall in the same range but different sites have been telling me otherwise. What I do is focus on a healthy balanced diet, and reducing my calorie intake about 500 each day from a normal day of eating (of course replaced with healthier food ) and include 30-60 mins cardio, aerobic or weights (calorie-in and calorie-out!). Burn fat, build muscle, it goes both ways...you got to eat to build muscle, and muscle to burn calories.

I myself just started to take a different leap towards loosing and also want to be lean and strong and I know I WANT to do it but fearing if I do something such as burn muscle and gain more fat and thinking I have failed, has put me at pitstops along the way. Sometimes we fear that what we have achieved may disappear again. But really, when you work along the way you will have the motive to strive and keep what you had worked for all along! You CAN and WILL succeed, even if it takes a few cuddley emoticons to take your mind off the opposite and say: I WILL SUCCEED!!!

Don't ever feel digusted of yourself, you are an achiever and you have that motive to transform your body