The ex-boyfriend who left me four months ago for another woman (who talked him into leaving me ostensibly because I had an "unreasonable amount of grief" over a close relative dying last year) sent me an email at work this morning announcing that he's marrying the woman he left me for. He said he hadn't told me sooner because he wasn't sure I'd take it well.

Gee, do ya think? I'm certainly not bothered over losing HIM at this point. Frankly, there's nothing worse I could wish on his ...umm...FIANCEE than to be legally stuck with him on a permanent basis. But he still owes me money and he still has a bunch of his stuff in my house.

What kind of a coward tells someone that by sending them an email at work? All I can say is, better her than me. I suspect she'll find out soon enough the kind of man she has ended up with.

He still owes you money and has stuff at your house?

Ok...

#1 - He is not going to pay you back your money.

#2 - In order to receive some sort of compensation, donate his stuff to a charity, get a receipt, and take a charitable tax deduction.

What a tacky loser.

I think it's time for some introductions. "Hello, guy's things? Please meet curb." "Curb, please meet guy's things."

Seriously, best wishes to you in a difficult time but tell him to come get his junk! Sever the connections with him and find a new guy that will treat you like you deserve!

I like WhitWhit's suggestion too. That way you could at least benefit in some way for the time you spent with him. I hope you really feel that it's better her than you, because it is, even if bothers you a lot right now. I'm sure you know this, but moving on is the best revenge.

Email him back and ask about the money he owes you and his stuff...if he says he will still pay you back the money...you have the proof you need for small claims court.

My daughter was friends with a guy for a year before he started dating her when she was 16, I thought he was 20 but he was actually 23, they got married when she turned 18 (June) at the local courthouse because we wanted her to wait until she was done college (I was hoping that she would outgrow him) he fooled around with her best friend and moved back to Philadelphia with his parents after three months (Sept). Luckily WV doesn't have a wait period and they filed for divorce in February she actually got the papers on Valentine's Day, the divorce hearing was in May and he brought his livein girlfriend with him to that--did I mention how he kept calling her telling her he still loved her and didn't want the divorce until she blocked the number in April....

So he's been dating this new girl for four months and they're already getting married? Hmm, I'm sure that will work out wonderfully. Perhaps you could think of this as some kind of cosmic retribution.

The moment that honey moon phase is over, so is that relationship...Which will probably cost him as much as what he owes you.

Well, I basically had that happen. Only I was "engaged" to the guy that broke it off with me. If they'll cheat with you..they'll cheat "on" you!
Thank God I didn't marry him before his true colors came out.
I agree with Jules..email him to see if he plans to return the money OR tell him you're going to pawn his stuff if he doesn't. Give him a time limit.. I'm sure you don't run a storage facility in your home. :-p

I would :
1. not respond to the E-mail
2. sell anything of his that you can to make up for the money he owes you
3. throw anything else away that belongs to him
4. thank your lucky stars that he's somebody elses problem now

Try a yard sale!

WOW. Well Fiddler, you're certianly well rid of him! You could try dating a slug next and it would still be an upgrade.

WhitWhit and Glory!

Jules, that is a horrible story! I'm so sorry your daughter (and you) had to experience that.

Fiddler, I think you know this already, but you are WAY too good for him! I'm glad he's gone, so you can make room in your life for a Real Man.

Tell him how happy you are for him by way of e-mail. Ask him how he intends to pay you back. Give him 30 day notice to remove his items or you will garage sell them cheap, and deduct the profits from his debt. You probably won't see him until the other gal is through with him.

Oh my gosh - I've seen the title of this thread and just clicked onto it now and I see it's by you Fiddler.

Well he certainly is a jerk and good riddance to him, but nevertheless I'm sure you're still hurting over it and for that I'm sorry. Him and his new girl deserve each other, cause he sure as heck doesn't deserve you.

Okay... i'd go with the first part - Tell him how happy you are, for him. I'm sure he's emailing, looking for some kind of reaction from you, otherwise why bother telling you at all, IMO... so take the high road, and tell him you're happy for him.

but i wouldn't mention the money owed, or his stuff. I'd go with others' suggestions to sell his stuff, in order to get the money. That's what I did...

no matter what you decide to do, just remember that he's definitely not deserving of you, and he is her problem now.

As much satisfaction as it would give me to sell his stuff or shove it out to the curb, I don't want to do anything that would give him an excuse to take me to court. My life is already complicated enough right now.

We've talked since I originally posted, and he is supposed to be over Saturday with a truck and check in hand.

But I think he has soured me on men for a long, long time.