I have never done this before...I am trying to loose weight but no one seems to understand...all my friends (dont have many) co-workers and especially family seem to think that it is just a matter of being lazy...I am not lazy...I just do not know why I can not seem to stick to anything....I came across this website by accident but was very interested in what everyone has to say...people here know what I go through.....hope this helps.

You are right - we understand. Most everyone here has been where you are, that's what makes this such a great place to be. If you haven't stuck with it in the past, I suspect one of two things: 1) You weren't really ready to commit to a life-time change or 2) You simply hadn't found the right program for you. If you are ready, and you keep trying, there is no failure there. You only fail when you give up. What programs have you tried? Personally, I like Weight Watchers. Other's on here have gone with different plans. Everyone knows how you feel! Welcome!

Oh, I understand.

We are not lazy.

Unless someone went through this, I don't think they will get it.

I do know one thing. This is a good place to be. There are wonderful people on here.

With your co-workers, I think it's best not to talk about it unless one of them is in the same boat.

With your family, I think it needs to be discussed. The holidays are coming and so is the food that goes with them.

I think it's best to ask people if they cannot be positive and supportive to just not talk about it. No one needs any negative comments. We do enough of that ourselves.

Your best support will come from people on here and other places like it.

You are not alone.

well, just know that you are doing this for you and no one else. they dont HAVE to understand, they dont even have to support you, what matters is that you are making a decision to make your life better and if they CANT understand or support you, do you really need em? this is a GREAT place to come for support. were here for you *hug*

Part of my click moment was realizing that I absolutely wasn't lazy and that laziness had nothing to do with why I was fat.

I worked a demanding full-time job and went to school at night. On many days I would leave the house before 8am and not get home until after midnight. I worked HARD at both my job and school, managing to make excellent grades and graduate Summa Cum Laude. That is not the definition of someone who is lazy.

I realized that my issues with my weight were something else - something deeper. It didn't have to do with my ability but that it was rooted in my fears and the way I dealt with my feelings.

If you can't stick to something then it is probably the wrong thing. One of the things I learned when I found this site was that a general calorie range for someone my weight should be around 2000. No wonder I always failed on diets when I tried to eat 1200 calories – I was literally starving myself. Our bodies are designed to protect ourselves against starvation and so reducing calories too low is a perfect recipe for binging. Find or design a plan that works for you and find support, either here or in real life. Either way, you can totally do this!

POCHITA - what they said. BRAVO for you for continuing to TRY! I think having support is at the top of the list for success. You'll find that here. I'm running late, but I at least wanted to take a moment to tell you that those first 20 pounds you've already lost shows that you CAN do this. Please feel welcome, join us, and together we'll travel closer to our goals!!!!

hello! just wanted to say hi and let you know that i understand how you feel. i've gained and lost and gained again and while my friends and family weren't judgemental, i felt like they just didn't understand how it felt and how it effects everything. i'm pretty new on this site and everyone here is wonderful....great advice and listeners. i just started last weekend and i've had a pretty crappy week with working out, but no one here critizes you for that, just encourages you to try again. tomorrow is a new day.

i think that you should just remember, like the others said, that this is something you're doing for you and who cares what everyone else thinks. i have a few people i talk to about what i'm doing, and use this website for support also. find some things that you like doing and mix it up to keep from getting bored. use this website or anything else that works for you. you'll be able to do it and surprise yourself with what you can accomplish!

anyway, i hope that you stick around and find what you need here. lori

Hi there!

What can I say that hasnt already been said?? Sometimes life deals you a crap hand with support networks .. those that you think would be supportive usually make you feel worse about yourself .. my mother is my prime shooter lol.

Not only has she constantly judged me for my size (when I was planning my big OE in 2004 .. all she kept saying was you wont enjoy yourself because of your size etc... fortunately I got over the misgivings she made me feel and had the most fantastic time and WAY better than I could have imagined)... but she also started telling my daughter that she needs to lose weight whenever she sees her .. my daughter was only 13 when she started this behaviour ... I did my nana at mum and said to her "there are enough people in the world that will put a person down ... family are supposed to support each other for crying out loud!! If you think youre helping .. youre not!" I also told her if I hear she has mentioned Ashleighs weight once more then I will just stop having her visit ... my daughter doesnt have the highest of self esteems and its been a long road with a lot of ups and downs ...

Our weight loss journey is a family thing now My daughter and I are doing it together and my partner does it too .. he is almost at his goal weight (darn it! lol) .. and Ash is about half way to hers (about another 15 lbs) .. me ... well .. I have a long road to go ... and I know that while my close family are wonderful and I dont think I would do as well as I have done so far without them ... I know that they dont really understand my fears or worries .. but coming on here I find everyone has a common understanding ... even when they dont have all the issues that others face ... its a goal ... and that goal (as the lovely Zelma showed me) ... is FREEDOM (check out the link in my siggie for her post!). That is my wish for me .. and that is my wish for you too.

Please know you arent the only one on your journey .. there are a lot of us walking the same path with you and whenever you need that support that you dont have around you just come on here and read and vent and chat .. dont bottle things up ... dont stop trying .. and BELIEVE in yourself .. cos I will believe in you too regardless BIG HUGS!!

A great big thank you to everyone who wrote to me. Just seeing that other real people are doing it is a great support to me. I have tried everything slimfast, weight watchers, jenny craig...you name it on the diet pills but this is the first time I am not as hungry. I am trying the Jorge Cuise 3 hour diet and it is very well rounded....I get to eat anything (in moderation) I just have to stay away from my "trigger" foods. Like chips and dip and pizza for a while, putting something like that in my mouth would not be good. I have also learned by reading (i had been reading for about 2 weeks before I signed up) from all your threads that unlike the past I must not let one binge mark the end of this battle. wish me luck and thanks again.

pochita -- A belated WELCOME! If you haven't found the numbered threads alreayd, please join us there -- it's a little overwhelming, but very supportive.

Like the others have said, I also tried and failed in the past. I think I had okay plans (I tried and liked WW in the past), and never crash dieted, but maybe I wasn't ready, because I always "cheated" on them.

This time around I think the hardest part was starting. WHy keep trying, I'd tell myself. YOu're only going to fail again. A number of events put me in the mindset that I should try, or doom myself to a shorter lifespan with a lot less of what I want in life. I was 39 and felt at least 50.

Long story short. I started. I set a vague longterm goal "I want to be fitter when I'm 50 than I am when I turn 40." It wasn't about losing a certain amount of weight or the number on the scale, but what I can DO. And I committed to that goal.

For whatever reason, it made things a lot easier. When the tempting brownie came along, I frequently resisted, thinking "That's not going to help, Heather." Mind you, I didn't ALWAYS resist, but most of the time. I, who had never had any willpower before, realized finally that willpower is a bad turn of phrase for this process. I don't know what to call, it, however!

I began by bringing lunches and snacks to work instead of raiding the vending machine, and by starting to move more. Over time, my plan has evolved and I'm a big calorie counter and nutrition watcher. I exercise regularly, and I seem to hate it less all the time (I can't argue with the results). THat's huge, because I have NEVER EVER exercised before...

ANyway, this is a great place, and we're glad to have you!!