I went to a woman's group today and was prepared to eat their food sparingly with good choices. Then, I asked the lady next to me "do you think that dish has alot of calories" and she says, "no, everything is fat free." I said, "everything" and she repeated, "yes." Wow, I had a sliver of everything only to find out that it was all high calorie. She says, "you chose to hear what you wanted. I said "everything is fat for free." I felt like an ant being squashed. I immediately choked and threw away the rest of the 1/3 of the plate I didn't already eat, discreately.

I don't know how to count it though. I starved the rest of the day. i want so bad to loose weight. Has anyone else experienced anything like that? I felt sabotaged!

It was one meal, give it a rough estimate and just keep going. I don't think it's a good idea to not eat the rest of the day, I always binged after too much restriction.

One of the most important things I learned was flexibility. Real life is messy, complicated and unplanned. The old me used to eat something "bad" and then think "well, ****, the day is blown, I'm going to eat chocolate eclairs" The new me just pulls it together and makes the next meal a good choice. Sometimes, I get tempted and eat something I didn't plan to eat. The important thing for me is to not let a bad meal turn into a bad day or a bad week or a bad month. I just recover and keep going!

If you eat 3 meals a day, that's 21 meals a week. One offplan meal is 5%. Eating onplan 95% is DAMN GOOD. I don't think a sliver of everything at a buffet is doing too badly, though. It's not like you went back and filled 3 plates, is it? I used to be able to eat PLATES of food at a buffet For buffets, I make sure I fill up on salad and then take little dollops of things I want to try. My rule is one plate!

I'm not sure what kind of a crackpot woman would say "everything is fat for free" to you, though. Sheesh, what a piece of work.

well said glory-

We all have bad days. Don't beat yourself up about it.
Fat free doesn't always mean low calorie, though, so even when faced with a situation where that would have been the case instead of some rude woman taking a jab at your efforts, moderation is the key. There's nothing wrong with allowing yourself the same kinds of foods everyone else is having at a get together every once in a while. Be proud of yourself for choosing not to finish it!

You don't need help like that. I would go out of my way to avoid that woman.

Sh ... er ... Stuff is going to happen. You can't always be in charge of the cooking and you certainly can't count on anyone's help ... as you've seen.
Like the others have said ... take it in stride.
I really appreciate Glory's take ... 95% of your meals ...

Yes-I used to also have the mentality that if I overate at a meal, that the "whole day was blown" and eat whatever for the rest of the night. Now, I stop at that one meal or incident...and basically act like it didn't happen. If I ate cake at a party in the afternoon-and my dinner is usually around 650 calories, then I just "put the cake behind me" and eat dinner as planned, rather than falling completely off the wagon. Why make 300 extra calories turn into 1,000?

aphil: I like the way you look at it. why let 300 calories turn into 1000?? I am going to have to post that so I can see it on days that I have bad ones.

Thanks all!! So many good things I read in your posts... I didn't exactly starve myself; I was just frustrated and didn't know how to count the calories I ate. Maybe I did want to hear I could eat everthing and it could be fat free; LOL and your right just because it is fat free doesn't mean it is low calorie. I have to remember that.

I tried to sum up the calorie intake around 500-600 calories for that morning and counted the rest of my calories for the day accordingly. She probably didn't mean anything (I hope); she probably meant it as a joke for all to hear. She is thin and I am not. It certainly makes me think twice before I say something...

I also wanted to point out how bitter that other woman seemed by making that comment to you. It's so lame when people try to sabatoge or act rude when they know you are trying to do something good for yourself. They're just jealous. She probably wanted to justify stuffing her face and make you feel bad in order to do it. You should tell her that green is not a very pretty color on her...

I don't think she was being rude at all... sheesh she was probably just cracking a joke. And most people who are watching their weight do know that "fat free" certainly does not mean calorie free.