Hi! I've been here reading your maintaintence stories for a little while. I'll post mine soon, but I'm so desperate for help and encouragement today that I finally jumped in with this...

For my entire adult life (I'm 33) I've gone up (highest: 198 lbs) and down (lowest: 129 lbs, this summer) in weight, but I've NEVER maintained. I am very focused on healthy eating and I eat a low-calorie, high fiber, lean protein diet. I weigh and log everything I eat on my personal FitDay software. I exercise LOTS (60 minutes of weights 3 X weekly, run 4 miles 6-7 X weekly, elliptical for 60 minutes 2-4 X weekly, plus some hiking, step aerobics, other cardio classes).

I ate 1200 calories per day all summer and lost weight from 167 lbs to 129 lbs. At the end of August I binged and started a binge-restrict cylce that I've been on ever since. Usually 1-3 days of binge-eating followed by a day or two of fasting, several days of restricted caloric intake, then back up to 1200 calories per day. This lasts a week then the binge starts again. During this time my weight (when I've been willing to weigh) has been up and down in the low 130s. FINALLY, from reading some of the posts on 3FC, I realize that I am eating too little and that my restricting is triggering the endless binge cycle. The latest binge was this past weekend and I was determined today to END this insanity. It is SO important to me to maintain this healthy weight and lifestyle. I DO NOT EVER WANT TO BINGE.

This morning I woke up and did my usual 60 minutes of weights and 4 mile run. I was determined to be on track with the food, but not to undereat or fast. In fact, I had taken an attitude of deciding to NOT TRY TO LOSE any more weight at least until January '07 in order to work at just maintaining without binge-ing for a while. The thing is, I am bloated and, face it, a little bigger from my weekend of overeating. It is so discouraging. My clothes are tight, my head hurts from white flour and sugar withdrawal, arrrgh! So, before I even stop to breathe I am eating, eating, eating again.

I've done this EVERY TIME I've ever lost weight and I DON'T WANT to do it again. I REFUSE to go back there. I REFUSE! Please, maintainers, please tell me you've faced this challenge at some point in your maintenance and OVERCOME IT! Please tell me I CAN DO THIS, STARTING NOW, STARTING TODAY! Please tell me how to pick up and move on, one more time, this time without another binge. I really need your insight!

Thanks,
Lindy

I have different issues from this, and I don't really consider myself to be maintaining yet, but I did want to ask whether you've visited the "Chicks In Control" section of the site? There are a lot of threads about binge eating in there.

If it helps, though, I fully believe you can overcome this! Please keep posting and visiting the site; I can't tell you how much these ladies have helped me.

For quite a long time I was on a cycle where I would eat frozen lean cusines/healthy choice meals for lunch and dinner every day Monday-Friday. As a result, adding breakfast in, my calorie intake was probably 950-1000 calories on most days. Then on Saturday and Sunday I would basically look forward to overeating all weekend. I would count on losing weight Mon-Fri, then putting a bit back on during the weekends. After I came to this site and read many stories (particularly about binge eating), I realized that I was on what could be labeled a binge-restrict cycle. I decided this wasn't a healthy way to live, and I decided to eat consistently every day of the week. Overall, I was probably getting the same amount of calories over the entire week as I am now, but this feels much better.

I started cooking again, and learned some healthy meals that I love that don't come out of a freezer box. It's now been over 3 months since I've had an overeating episode and I feel good. Every once in a while I think about my old ways, but I've realized that eating a good amount of calories consisting of healthy food that I love every day keeps me level and keeps those weekend cravings I used to have at bay. It was a switch worth making; it just required a conscious decision that I was going to make a change in my life.

If you binge, just have a NORMAL day the next day with a normal amount of calories.

You are binging because you are fasting. You must break the cycle by eating. You might still binge, but it will be less and less frequent. Fasting = starving, you are freaking your body out. Feed it and it will calm down.

If you have reached your goal weight, start eating more than 1200 calories. It is terrifying to increase calories, but it is necessary. Do it slowly, a hundred calories at a time, over a few months.

Everyone is different, but for me, maintenance is 1800-2000. I used to binge/restrict/binge/restrict too. I haven't binged ONE TIME since I actually started eating.

Good luck.

Lindy, I believe you can do this; now you must believe you can do it.

Before I say another word, I want you to take a moment and breathe. Calm your mind.

Breathe again.

While you're breathing and settling, congratulations on losing that weight. You look absolutely fabulous. You've begun a new chapter in a new life. You're going to be healthier, fitter and lovlier than you've been.

Breathe again and tell yourself that you can do this.

While you're breathing, think about this:

You work out long and hard. You need fuel. Think about what a calorie is: a unit of energy. Your body is craving energy to power the workouts. Lindy, your body is hungry and while there may be other issues at play, first and foremost you need to eat enough to keep on going.

I second what both Glory and Tara say: try increasing your calories, and eat real food.

I think you're wise to put additional weight loss on hold. Now is an excellent time to come to terms with your body and with a maintenance plan that you can sustain.

If you'd like to post a day or two's worth of menus, several on this board might be able to suggest some tweaking that would serve you well.

You can do this Lindy. Come join us on the daily thread.

And keep breathing.

It is hard to beat what Robin said.

Practical stuff: here are two simple things I do to help avoid eating something when I'm having trouble for whatever reason.
1) Wait 15 minutes. This can be excrutiatingly hard. But it will often, not always, break the spell.
2) Think of 3 other things to do and do one of them. Helps to pass the 15 minutes. Also helps to distract when the 15 minutes are over.
These work very well when I remember to do them.

Please also consider a minimum daily calorie requirement--good for the body, good for the mind. I'm in complete agreement with the other posters on this thread on that. One last thing--don't worry (for now) about never having another binge and breaking the cycle. Just worry about this one moment, this one choice. You can worry about the rest later, plenty of time for that.

Finally, , you are doing great! You've seen the pattern (the hard part) and are resolved to do something about it. You are obviously very strong, and can find a way.

Anne

A HUGE thank you for your comments and support. It was my first post ever and I've been on-line ever since watching for comments! I can not begin to describe how great it feels to not feel alone in this fight! You are all so wise and I admire you so much!

While I do not feel good about my food choices yesterday, I got up today with the goal to BREATHE (thank you, Robin!), slow down and not be so overwhelmed, and re-commit to a healthy lifestyle (again and again and again!). I want to eat and feed my family (hubby and two daughters) healthfully and not be an example of binge-eating! So I am DEFINITELY going to up my daily caloric intake (thank you, Glory, Tara, Robin, Anne) so that I don't keep fighting the feeling of "I'm starving!".

I am insecure about my ability to make a good decision on how much to eat. If I only go up a little (1300 calories?) I may face that hunger again and struggle not to binge. If I go up a lot (1500? 1600?) I may feel bloated or struggle with my feelings about my appearance, leading to wanting to binge for emotional reasons. I think it will take some time to find the right place for my body.

I get the greatest peace about this just by continually renewing my mental focus to my desire for a healthy lifestyle.

Thank you all so much. I'll keep posting and let you know how your support motivated me through this hard time!

Lindy

Lindy,

Just one quick thought ... you don't have to make these decisions all at once, and they're infinitely adjustable. Why not try adding, say, 150 calories a day. See you how you feel. See what happens on the scale (remembering always that everyone's weight fluctuates constantly). If you're still hungry and not gaining, add another 100 calories. Wait and see. Eventually, you're going to level out (again remembering that your body will probably go up and down, maybe by five or more pounds depending on TOM, carbs, exercise and, as far as I can tell, the phases of the moon. Don't let it throw you.)

I think it was Anne who once referred to her body as her own personal laboratory. She experiments and watches to see what happens. I do, too. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Anne's idea to focus on today, not forever. And if need be, focus on the this very minute, not tonight or tomorrow morning.

Now, for the pleasure of our constant feedback and eloquent company, come on over to the daily thread

Hugs,

Lindy, I read your post this morning, and you have been on my mind throughout the day. Blessings to you, I understand and feel for you, the struggle is real, and you are worth the effort. Treat yourself with kindness, slow down and listen to your body. Be well, Amy