Priceless

  • A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
    Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

    He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could
    have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

    The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in
    frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,
    dropping her cell phone and makeup.

    As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up
    into the face of a very serious police officer.

    The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to
    the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed,
    and placed in a holding cell.

    After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the
    door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting
    officer was waiting with her personal effects.

    He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind
    your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of
    you, and cussing a blue streak at him. "I noticed the 'Choose Life' license
    plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me
    to Sunday- School' bumper sticker, and
    the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

    Naturally . . . I assumed you had stolen the car."

    Priceless!
  • Another good one, Gina! It reminds me of another of a greeter at walmart and a woman comes in with two kids and she's ranting and raving at the kids and being a real b****. He asks the woman, "Oh...TWINS!" She says, "They're not twins, idiot! They're two years apart!" And he says, "Oh, I assumed they were twins because I can't imagine you getting laid more than once!"

    Funny thing is I think I've seen this woman at Walmart!! More than once! As different people!!
  • Those are both very funny, I needed a laugh today.