My trigger foods are desserts. I don't keep any sweet stuff in the house since it will set me off on a binge.

My in-laws come over frequently, and they always bring dessert. I've asked them before not to bring them, but they still do. They say it is for my kids. Well, now my kids are conditioned to know that when grandma and grandpa come over, they will be getting cake for dessert.

My husband and my kids don't have weight problems. My husband especially doesn't understand how I cannot stop eating sweet stuff once I start. I've also tried sending the stuff home with them when they leave, but they refuse to take it home.

How do I handle this without just being a total #$%^@ and telling them to flat out not bring the stuff? I've stuffed the junk down the disposal before when the inlaws leave, but my DH looks at me like I'm crazy and sometimes I'm not strong enough to do it. I'm getting really angry and resentful at them.

I have an "out of sight-out of mind" mentality. If I can't see if, I forget it's there. Can you do something like that? Wrap it up really well in foil so you can't see it? Maybe with several layers so it's not easy to get into for just a quick bite? I also have a "if it's too hard to get into before someone can see me-I won't eat it" mentality so the multiple layers of foil helps me.

Can you place it in some tupperware/gladware type container and stick it up on a top shelf that you don't look at often? that way it will go stale quicker and you can throw it away with out the strange looks. Pack your dh lunch so that it contains a big slice of it the next few days until it's all gone. Ask dh to put the dessert up after dinner so you won't be tempted to eat it while you are cleaning up. Could you try asking them to bring a smaller portion if they must bring dessert? Say something like, "It's so hard to finish it before it goes stale."

Hopefully others will have some more suggestions.

Unfortunately, people who don't have triggers for over eating don't understand why it's a problem. And with you being the in-law, the parents probably feel like you are mistreating their son and grandkids by not letting them have sweets.

You could also look at is a challenge that you can overcome. You know that this will probably be a problem food for you basically forever. You can learn new ways of dealing with it now at the beginning of your weight loss journey so that after you lose the weight, you'll be able to handle any challenge easily. It will be difficult but you can do it.

My fil thought I was horrible to his son because I buy whole wheat bread, and 1%fat milk, cook whole grains and brown rice and I'm careful about the types of fat we eat because he has high cholestreol and I'm trying to lose weight. When they came to visit, they bought whole milk, white bread, white rice and extremely fatty pieces of pork so their son could eat like a normal person. What can you do with in-laws? I just fixed my own meals and stayed healthy and let them eat their junk.

Good luck
Sarah

On halloween, when the kids bring home all the candy...I let them eat it all as quickly as possible..lol. My thinking is that Id rather them eat crud for 2 or 3 days instead of 2 months....less damage for it to do on the teeth. Let the kiddles have as much as they want, give it to them for breakfast (one day of junk breakfast isnt gonna kill em...remember bill cosby and the chocolate cake?), pack the rest up in lunches, and toss the rest.

I have the same problem with my family.

In fact they usually insist that we bring the dessert. Why ask the fat couple to bring dessert. It makes me so mad!

I finally told my mom off this last labor day and refused to bring the cake. I straight out said that I can NOT go to the bakery.

They family was mad. But oh well you need to do whats best for yourself!

Since I work at a place where there is constantly all kinds of junk food around, I have had to just flat out make the decision that I am not going to eat it and that it is up to ME not to do it. I am sure it is much harder with people actually bringing it into your home... but there is no reason you can't throw the stuff out the minute they leave as you said you have done. But there are ALWAYS going to be temptations in life; in the real world we just have to learn to deal with them and NOT eat it.

I have a relative who regularly dropped off sweets "for my son". The trouble is, my son doesn't have a weight problem and would forget it's there, or he'd say, "I just haven't been into sugar lately."

What I did to my relative is not something I'd recommend to in-laws, as you don't want to tax your relationship with your husband/significant other, but I finally just butted heads with the relative, saying how important my health is to me and that my health issue is mine to manage, and that it's hard enough to keep away from it in public much less in the sanctity of my own home. We had such a big blow-out about it that we didn't talk for months.

So ... healthier suggestions:

• Can you ask them to bring less of the dessert?
• Can you ask them to bring a healthier option, like angel food cake with fruit instead of cheesecake?
• If you have a job, you could take it to work the next day and put it out ... coworkers are often like vultures on that stuff.
• You could invite neighbors over to eat it.
• Toss it in the garbage and pour dishsoap on it.

I think if you are always saying the same thing over and over, like, "My weight and my family's health is of greatest concern to me and I'd like it if you didn't drop off unhealthy desserts", they will think you sound like a broken record, but it might actually sink in.

Maybe wrap it up in a way that makes it more difficult to open and place a little note on it that says, "Mare, never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most!" If you consciously have to work to get into the tempting treats it gives your brain some time when making those crucial decisions for yourself before a mindless binge or indulgence can even begin. Not fool proof of course, but it has worked for me on a number of occasions.

Good luck!
Beverly

How about this? They ask you to bring dessert~you show up with a huge bowl of fresh fruit! Or maybe even some angel food cake and small amount of whipped cream to go with?

I like this idea! I take my son to playgroups a lot and people always bring cake and cookies and junk and I'm always the one showing up with bowls of fresh fruit and angelfood cake! Maybe keep something healthy and delish available for yourself so you're not as tempted by what they're bringing? I would also try and talk to them again about how it's affecting you... I think it's disrespectful of them to keep bringing junk into your home when they know you dissaprove. We have a no junk food household and our family knows that and respects it. They thought I was weird at first, I'm sure... but now they see how positive the changes are for us and they leave me alone... so I don't know what else to say... If for some reason I do end up with some cookies or whatever I just send them to work with my husband (he's in the Navy) the 18 year old boys in his shop really appreciate it!

Here's a story to go along with my post above. My son is a freshman and in his first year of high school marching band. We had band camp in July and each day they asked a different section to bring dessert. Well, our day was Tuesday and we brought in a bowl of fruit. the kids loved it and hardly ate any of the cookies and stuff that other people brought. By Thursday and Friday they had so much fruit coming in that there was not room in the fridge! Sean said that their director told them that they were going to eat so much fruit, they would poop out a banana! We had a good laugh about it and we'll have our bowl ready next summer!

I come from a large family who loves to eat.i am constantly having no no food pushed in my face.a while ago i would always give in to it but this time i stand strong and say no.i will not let them sabotage my diet anymore.this weight is not comming off unless i take control of my body and eating habits and i will not let anyone else be in control of what goes in my mouth.hang in there and stand firm.

I would have to say that these are my downfall too. I like the out of sight out of mind idea.

Now to get everyone to keep them out of my sight!

*You could request they only bring enough food to serve your children for that one day. Explain that you and your family can never finish the food they bring and it always ends up going to waste.

*You could also tell them if they want to treat your children/husband, they can take them out to eat for ice cream or something fun. (That way you can have some time to yourself.)

*Let them bring the food but throw it all away. (Or at least everything but enough to serve your children and husband.) Obviously no one wants to waste food, but sometimes that is your only option.

*Smack your husband and tell him to support you. Maybe he can't relate to your issues involving food, but that doesn't mean he can't stand behind you.