About one month ago, I joined the gym. For two weeks I did SUPER good. Then... I think around the time my waterbottle started smelling gross, things went downhill. I don't know... I guess for me, one small thing leads to HUGE catasrophes. Well, it's been two weeks now and I've more than likely gained ALL of the weight back that I lost, I havn't been going to the gym and I just feel like.. what's the point? I screwed up, and I'm scared of dissapointing myself when I see the scale again. (I get weighed 1 a month at the gym, and I don't have a scale.) I feel like all of that work I did was for nothing, and now I just have to start over. It sounds silly... but I'm just so critical of myself. I don't know... I don't feel that I'm doing good enough, so I don't feel like I should do it at all, you know?

I beat my self up so hard, because I want this so much, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I base how good I do on a weekly basis, and I feel like this week I BLEW it, now I'm scared that I'm going to go home from work and binge, and not go to the gym like I planned on. Ugh. I meet with a personal trainer twice a week and I feel like I'm not making any progress because I'm not doing anything else, you know? I'm not eating as good as I should, I'm not doing cardio. Argh. I just want to scream from frustration because I keep screwing up. I last worked out with my trainer last thursday, and I havn't done anything since. I havn't eaten good, I havn't exercised... now I feel like I've let my trainer down, my boyfriend down (he's the one who pays for my sessions), and most importantly.. I feel like I've let myself down. I hate that feeling.

I need some support. I need some inspiring words. I need some help getting my butt back in gear.

Melissa,

I just joined the Y and after my workout yesterday I am so achy I feel like just throwing in the towel. But I'm lucky (as I've been told anyways) that I have my husband who joined with me and most likely if it wasn't for him, I would have just quit.

So maybe can you get a workout buddy? Someone to go with you and get you to go even when you don't want too? Before I was married it was my former best friend, she could be so annoying if she wanted you to do something, so she was perfect to get me to go and workout.

If not maybe, is it possible to pay for the sessions yourself so that maybe by paying for it you'll be motivated? I know that motivated me to go even when I didn't want too because at the time I didn't make much money so I went to get my "money's" worth, so it worked.

and you can do this!!!!!!!

Do not beat yourself for this. If you keep beating yourself, you've already been beat.

Don't beat yourself up over this. You are talking about a huge lifestyle change and it isn't going to happen overnight. I've been working out with a trainer for just over a year. When I first started, all I did were the training sessions. I didn't do any cardio on my own, I didn't change my diet. Slowly, over time, as I got better at my training sessions and as I started to see some progress there, I started to add more workouts and work on my diet. First I added a cardio session on my own on the weekend. Then a little while after that, I added half an hour of cardio on the days between my trainer sessions. Around about that time, I started monitoring my calorie intake and limiting my calories. Now I've worked up to an hour of cardio the days between my trainer sessions. But I definitely didn't wake up one morning a changed person who was super motivated to exercise and watch my diet; it's been a slow and steady progression.

If all you can do right now is the training sessions, that's all you can do. Keep doing them, though, because it's way better than doing nothing. Maybe you could set some long-term goals for yourself. For example, you'll do the training sessions by themselves for two months. After that, maybe you could add one extra cardio sesson a week. Then after another two months, add another cardio session. When you feel comfortable with the amount of exercise you are doing, you can look at changing your diet.

Of course, you also need to set your expections appropriately regarding your weight loss. If you are only doing the training sessions, you probably aren't going to lose a lot of weight. But that's okay. Weight loss isn't a race and eventually you'll get to the point where you can do more. Even though you might not be losing a lot of weight, you'll will be getting into better shape.

- Barbara

You also don't have to change your diet overnight. Maybe pick just one or two unhealthly eating habits and focus on changing those to start. For example, if you eat pop tarts for breakfast, you could focus on switching to a high fiber cereal (this is just an example, I obviously have no idea what you eat for breakfast and am not intending this as a comment/speculation on your eating habits--for all I know you already eat a perfectly healthy breakfast, in which case you would want to pick something else to focus on ). Once you feel like you are in control of those, then you can pick something else to focus on.

- Barbara

One last word and then I'll shut up. You also have to expect that sometimes you are going to backslide. I was basically at my goal and then my sister came to visit with her husband and two kids and I went off my diet while they were here. Unfortunately, making good food choices when I'm not on my diet is something I still need to work on (maybe I'll get to that next year). Then, shortly after she left I had what I will only refer to as the "trail mix incident" (I won't be buying any trail mix for a while, that's for sure). Before I knew it, I was back up to five pounds above my goal. These setbacks can be very discouraging and when it was all said and done, I was disappointed for having sabotaged myself. But I lost the pounds before and I can certainly lose them again. If you have a bad day, you just have to let it go and start fresh the next day.

- Barbara