My bf's mother is a ************* not nice lady. I am so frustrated that I could scream. I mean deep down scream, you know when your 2 y/o just stands in the middle of the floor and screams, well that's me right now. Not that this thing that has made me so mad is a big deal but it's just snowballing right now. She works at a bank and even though it's not right to do she has been telling us all summer she would get money for us when we go to the nascar race in New Hampshire. She can get a better exchange than we do at the bank normally. I went today to get the money, 500 US funds cost me 570.01 Can. She could have saved us 35 Can. Not that that will break the bank but it's a little extra she could have saved us but no no no, now she can't b/c she's nervous she'll get caught. I bet if bf's ex wife wanted some she would get it. OOOHHHHHHH I do not like her!!!!!!And my bf doesn't say anything cause she exchanged money for him so that's all he cares about. I know it's his mother but for the love of %&*(, why can't he agree with me that that wasn't a nice thing for her to do. It just adds on to all the other crap she does. I need a vacation and when we get back if he doesn't start supporting me when it comes to his mother, I'm leaving so fast the dust I leave behind will choke him. God I'm livid right now and it's not even that TOM. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You may as well cut your losses now and go. It's not going to get better. Trust me on this.

Ummm....
Like Dr. Phil says, I'll just tell you something you might not want to hear:

I think your boyfriend's mom is right to refuse. It's something that she's not supposed to do, and is basically morally wrong. It's kind of low level embezzelment.

Not that it's even the primary reason not to do such a thing, but such an action has the possibility of losing her job -- I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't want to put his mom in that sort of situation. If you want to be with your boyfriend, I think that it might be important to try to have the best relationship with his mom that you can. If she feels uncomfortable doing it, is $35 really worth introducing more stress into the relationship with your boyfriend? Think about the future.

Also, if your boyfriend's mother sees this as you asking her to do something she feels is morally wrong, it may end up souring her opinion of you, and fighting about this is not worth it. If you respect her values, she may come to respect yours more, too.

Family peace is worth some sacrifices...assuming peace (and happy Thanksgivings) is somehting that you make a conscious decision that you want in your life.

I would actually feel better about the boyfriend's mother for refusing to do something illegal and would feel less respect for her for doing something illegal. Is 35 bucks Canadian worth this much angst? Is it worth someone losing their job? Sorry she made promises she ended up not keeping, but in the end, she made the right decision. I've known people like that, who talk big but end up not producing what they promise, it happens.

Maybe we dont know the full story, but IMO I don't see this any reason to be so mad. Sure I might be a little hurt, but in no way does this mean she dis-likes you anyway.

My boyfriend HATED my family and they hated him back just as much. My step dad always says I can do better. My gramma has even gone as far as to try and turn my dad against him. There were was a lot of fighting and I tried to push it and push it, and made the mistake of saying things to each other that hurt people even more.

I just let things go. Run their own course. I love my boyfriend and I love my family, I realised if I wanted to keep both I was going to have to live without my boyfriend coming to family occasions. Once I came to that realization things got a whole lot better.

My boyfriend even came with out for a mother's day dinner. He came camping with us. Sometimes he even wants to go but can't (my step dad still doesnt like him) - but my step dad did buy us a house to live in. So here is my boyfriend that wouldnt go near my house for a year and a half and now of all sudden he has no problem going for dinner or spending the weekend with them and visa versa (again, my step dad still not so much - but he is a different kinda man)

I have learned to drop things, makes life much easier and in my case things worked themself out. If you cant deal with; it's simple; leave.

medic4life: I agree with others. Is there something more to the story? I am sure there is. I dont think this 35 dollar incident is all thats causing you the anger and hatred. u did say this is adding up to the some other things she did (may be it'd make more sense then).

I know inlaws can be really hard to deal with at times esp if your spouse keeps taking their side without realising that you left everything to come live with him. My inlaws live with us most of the year and I have tons of issues with them although I havent really shown it to anyone.

Letting go of things isnt the answer because its not only your responsibility to keep your hubby happy but its the inlaws' resp too to keep their son's relationship happy. If its true that you have other prblems with them..then I'd say talk to a counseller if you can afford one because I knopw how much stress it can cause to you and it will just keep adding up!

Is this about the bf's mother or the ex-wife? I have to agree that she had the right. I know you didn't vent here to be told this but if I were the bf I would be livid that the person that is supposed to love me wants my parents to do shady activity and is angered with they don't and angered when I don't support that anger - them stating they would do so is beside the fact. Did it help you? No, but we should NEVER expect our family to put their jobs on the line for us like that. Honestly, your dust might be welcomed. JMO.

I have a very difficult boyfriend's mom/family situation too. I didn't even go to his brothers wedding but he's had like 3 of them in the last 6 yrs but I haven't gone to any, maybe I can go to the next one, heh-heh. I can't stand his mom because she lies and spreads rumors about me and basically want nothing to do with her, but for the sake of my relationship I squeeze out a smile and make my appearance every once in awhile.

But the thing is I wouldn't want her to do anything for me, because down the road she'll hold it against me. I would caution putting yourself in a position where she'll be able to call you ungrateful or unappreciative even if you do say thanks she might be able to hold it over you and your boyfriend's head. Earlier in me and boyfriends relationship when we were teenagers, she would buy us food or bring home a pizza without us asking and then when I didn't eat it or say thanks she would blow up. That's just a small example of things she would do. I'm like if we didn't ask then we didn't need or want it. If someone does something for you they should do it out the kindness of their heart and not expect gratitude. Respect and some appreciation is nice and welcomed, but to expect one to bow down because you do something for someone without being asked is a little off the rocker.

Anyway, I wouldn't let her get to you, some mother's just hate their son's girlfriends because then they aren't getting the love they once did, because all his attention is on you and he begins to choose and think about you more rather than her and it makes her crazy. Mother's like that suck but they're out there.

I don't know how the boyfriend would be angry at you for wanting her to do the exact same thing he's doing for her and from what it sounds like something she does regularly. You might want to plan this stuff better if you are going to use her, get her the money in advance or add it to what your boyfriend takes to her.

Surely you can't be serious? Your BF's mom was VERY smart to refuse to do something illegal... especially if she knows you are the type to go posting something like this publicly on the Internet!!!

I think the fact that the mother OFFERED to do it, and has been OFFERING for months is what is pissing medic4life off. And the fact that the mother waited for for her to go all the way down to the bank before changing her mind? That's just not cool.

The mother must not have been too worried about getting fired or had a too much of a morale objection to the act itself because she did it for her son.

I'd be irritated too!

I didn't take it that she exchanged money for the son at a lower rate, only that he was happy she exchanged the money period. She states..."she could have saved us 35 Can".

Misti, I couldn't agree more.