You know, anger, resentment, shame, jealousy, feeling worthless! It's no wonder! When I was losing that weight when I was in JC I didn't exactly find the underlying reasons as to why I love to eat but I do know I was in more control of myself and my emotions (other than my phobia, THAT will never change) but now I know why I fell off the wagon and I am trying hard to get back on it again but I just can't. Besides I am all broken out, my hair is a mess.. and to be honest, I don't really give a ****! I know I need to be on something but again.. if I gain weight from that, the fact that I HAVE to be on something AND gaining weight from it will just shatter me more! So what do I do here?

I am a firm believer that diets or being "on something" as you put it just lead to eventual weight gain. Excessive caloric restriction and eating diet "frankenfood" just start a molecular domino effect that slows the metabolism, consumes muscle mass and holds onto fat reserves. When the plan stops, the weight comes back - but NOT THE MUSCLE. All the weight comes back as fat, since fat is metabolically inactive, basic metabolism is slowed and it takes fewer calories to sustain the body.

What worked for me:

* Greatly reducing processed foods (and fast food and sugary soda, foods with little to no nutritional value) - avoiding high fructose corn syup and trans fat (hydrogenated vegetable oils found in most packaged baked goods, cookies, crackers, etc)
* Making it a goal to eat 5+ servings of vegetables every day, fruit, whole grains, lean protein, low fat dairy and healthy fat
* Eating enough calories a day - making sure I was below maintenance level for my height/weight/age/gender/activity level but only SLIGHTLY below maintenance
* Exercise
* Committing to a lifetime of healthy eating, not a plan or diet I would start and then one day stop.
* Making my goal long term health - weight loss was a happy byproduct of eating foods to be healthy

All my life, I thought if I could cut some calories to lose weight, I could cut MORE calories and lose MORE weight. I was sucked into the "eat less, move more" mantra, except I took "eat less" to excessives. Could I lose weight - yeah, I have lost a lot of weight over the years. Did it matter? NO because I could never KEEP the weight off. I always gained back all the weight AND MORE.

I changed the "mantra" to - eat less unhealthy food, eat MORE healthy food, move more. It has made all the difference - 70 lbs lost, nearly 19 months of maintenance.

Good luck!

Are you referring to medication here? Not all medications for depression (if that's what you're talking about) cause weight gain so please don't let that be a reason to not be "on" something.

I do know I gained A LOT of weight on celexa in a short period of time, I have even heard of people gaining on Effexor, and that is supposed to help with weight loss! What does not cause weight gain?

I'm not a physician and I don't know all the details of your situation but Wellbutrin generally does not cause weight gain.

Take good care of yourself.