It all started when I moved back down to georgia to try to work things out with my ex-husband. We had gotton back together and everything was running smoothly until about 2 weeks ago. He started sneaking around, and was being very secretive about taking phone calls and checking his e-mail. then he started not coming home until 5 or 6 in the morning. This last saturday is when everything came out, when I was supposed to be at work and he never came home. He was supposed to be here to take care of our child. Instead, he ended up going back to a strippers house and screwing her. Of course, she is really thin, with a nice body, and is somewhat pretty, and that is just killing me. I havent been able to sleep, eat, or have energy to be a good mother to my son. Thankfully, his parents, who, by the way, I have been on rocky roads with, are on my side with this, and are not exactly impressed with thier son's actions. I know our child is going to resent him now, when he gets older, and wonders why mommy and daddy are not happy anymore. I am just so stressed, confused, hurt, and just flat out shattered.
I dont know what to do........

Wow, bless your heart. I dont know that anything can be said to ease the pain and confusion. What i do know is that you deserve better and your son deserves better. Cut your losses and move on. I would explain to your son that you think it is best for him and you if you and "daddy" live apart. Dont let your son blame you for the breakup, if he as questions, answer them. Even if an answer is as simple as saying, daddy made promises and he is breaking them. I am a total believer in accountability. Your ex made his bed, let him explain to your son why mom and dad cant live together anymore. I am just so sorry. I know the feeling of betrayl and i know the pain and anger. Time will heal and one day when you find someone that treats you great, you will be SO glad to be rid of him. Be strong.

Cholie,
Your ex sounds very immature and doesn't sound like a person responsible enough to be a good husband let alone be a good father. I know it hurts but really you don't have a problem, he has a problem. I'm sorry for the pain that you are feeling but you are worth a lot more than the way he is treating you. You need to find someone that deserves you.

Cholie - you deserve much better treatment & I have found that cheaters end up cheating again. It may take some time, if you take him back but somewhere down the line it will happen again. Cut your losses, move on & take time to heal.

Good luck.

Hugs to you Cholie

I've never been in that type of situation but my sister has, as has my DH and once a cheater always a cheater-in most cases. My sis has been married 4 times and always seems to be attracted to cheaters for some reason. DH's first marriage ended in divorce because she cheated. He took her back and guess what? it happened again. Funny, the guy she cheated on DH with she ended up marrying and cheating on him and divorcing-she too is on her 4th marriage. My question is, you said you moved to try and work things out with your EX...I'm wondering if the reason you split up was because of the same thing? And if it was and now he is doing it again then I certainly would get out. You and your child DO deserve better and I am sorry for the hurt you are feeling. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

I'm so sry for your pain. I know you must be hurting. Get over the hurt and get angry, file for divorce and move on, you deserve someone who will be faithful and love you for you. A stripper? is that all he can get???

I agree with what the others have said. You will be living in limbo, with a cloud of deceipt constantly hanging over you, as long as you are together. The best thing to do would be to drop the loser and make a happier life for you and your child. It sounds like a cliche, but life truly is too short to spend it with someone who treats you so badly.

Betrayal. You wonder how can someone who says he loves you hurt you so cruelly. The short answer is that it is his problem. It takes maturity and moral courage to make a good relationship. It is easy to feel good in a new relationship. He mislead you. He was not man enough to either do the work that had to be done or get out. It is not the other woman being skinny (or sometimes it is younger or smarter or whatever --just ask Jennifer Anniston).
You will get through this. Take care of yourself and your son. Your husband expects you to be weak, weepy, and devastated. Surprise him. Let him know that you and your son deserve better than a liar and a cheat. Please believe you deserve better!

Your anger and distress is totally justified. I would leave such a man right away and never even think of him again (just block all feelings about him). He is not worthy of any forgiveness or understanding. If I were in your shoes, I would even go to the extent of taking away the child custody from him forever because he left the child alone at night to be with a wh@@@!

You must be selfish now and think only and only about yourslef and your child! trust us, its going to be much better for your child and you if you leave him! try to keep communicating with your child in whatever way u can because kids tend to blame themsleves for thier parent's separation.

God bless you and may be the strength be with you.

Keep that anger and it will get you out of this realationship...
There is no reason for you to have to live with this lack of respect, and as a mom you don't want your child growing up to see this as a norm.
You are hurt,,,as anyone would be. move on,,,
There is a whole lot better out there...for both you and your son.
hugs to you

It sounds like you are planning on staying with him.... is that what you want to do?

I make that assumption because you refer to your son seeing that the two of you are not happy anymore (or did you just mean not happy TOGETHER anymore?)

because there's no reason why you can't move on with your life & be happy again someday (even if that seems impossible at the moment)

Stop beating yourself up about your weight (the fact that she's skinnier than you) I highly doubt that has anything to do with the reason he cheated.... IMO a man who's gonna cheat is going to cheat regardless of who you are or what you look like (Christy Brinkley as well as many other super-model types have been cheated on!!!)

You need to worry about YOU & YOUR SON - not whats going on in his mind anymore or what he wants (who cares what he thinks/wants??? He obviously didn't think to care about how you'd feel)


I am VERY VERY sorry you are going through this.... I fully understand the pain. (been there)