Where did my motivation go?

I am usually such a motivated person - to eat healthy, to exercise, etc. Lately I've been doing nothing (and I do mean "nothing"!) and have no desire to even try. I mean, I hate my fatness, and want to be leaner, of course - for health reasons, vanity reasons too. But I used to be such a goal oriented person. I have gained & lost 30+ pounds in my adult life and have been able to "try try again". I was doing so well last summer (I was 138) until I re-injured my shoulder and couldn't exercise. I could hardly wait til I recouped & could exercise again, but lo & behold, I have found that I just don't care anymore. I go home after work, make a good healthy salad, eat it while watching DVD's, then I have about 500 calories worth of cookies (hey, at least I have skim milk with the cookies...that's worth something, right?) I just truly don't understand why I don't care anymore.

*Disclaimer* I have started the early phase of menopause, I am taking Wellbutrin, and currently trying not beat myself up too much.

You know I don't know either, could it have anything to do the with Wellbutrin? Maybe you should ask your doc about side effects?

I lost my motivation for a few days after I got back from vacation. After a few days of depression and feeling lost and without focus, I finally realized that I needed a Project where I make something happen in order to feel happy. Planning the vacation was a big project and when it was over I felt directionless.

I consciously decided to pick of the scattered threads of my weightloss project and start shaping my physical body again. That's my current project: weightloss and toning. So, I started logging food again and exercising again. And now that I'm focusing my will on that task, I've got that feeling of making something happen in the world that is so important to me.

I don't know if this will help you or not, but the realization that I needed to be doing something-- working on a concrete goal-- in order to feel happy, was a significant break through for me.

I just looked up what Wellbutrin is: an antidepressant. Could it be that the drug is blunting the highs as well as the lows of your emotional range? Could goal oriented-ness be a function of some part of your emotions that is getting snipped off?

Or that being unhappy about something is vital to getting up the motivation to fix it and that by chemically curing your depression, you have cut the incentive to change?

Just some random speculation.

Don't give up. It took a life-threatening illness for me to get motivated. You know what it takes to lose weight - you've done it before.

Don't expect quick results, just eat a balanced diet you can stick to with plenty of protein, healthy carbs and healthy fats. Do a moderate amount of exercise.

Don't buy any more cookies if you can't resist eating too many.

Don't wait to be "motivated" just do it!

Sorry if this sounds like too many "don'ts" Good luck

Over the past year and a half of my weight loss journey, I've found that motivation comes and goes. I've been where you are, asking why I've lost my motivation, what can I do to get it back, etc. etc. There is no magic answer or solution. You just have to force yourself to do it. I've also found that if I get sick or something and don't exercise for a week or two, I start to become complacent about working out and such. Then the scale goes up and I push myself back into gear again. Believe me, there are PLENTY of days when I get home from work and just want to shower and lay on the couch all night. I'll tell myself, okay, I'm taking tonight off and I'm going to relax. But, I always decide against it and work out anyway. You just have to make yourself do it....you'll be so proud of yourself afterwards!
As for the binging issue....just don't buy that kind of food. Only buy healthful things. You don't need junk food lying around the house only to be tempted by it. If you feel a craving coming on, just do something to keep yourself occupied....get out of the house and walk, take a relaxing shower or batch, etc. Don't give in!!

I have speculated the same random speculations as you.

I bolded your comment about the highs & lows of emotional range. I do plan to see my doctor soon. We've been kind of experimenting with some meds (& their dosage) - hopefully to find something that could help me with the Oh-my-god-where-did-that-come-from mood swings from ****. I am usually not a high tempermental person, but in the past few months, I have been like a witch or something! It's very distressing. I do think the meds could be what's "dulling" me. I mean, it makes sense, if the meds can "calm" a person, maybe it can make them 'too calm'... .yes?

I'm just so very tired of the whole thing... ... you know? Losing the weight, being satisfied, gaining the weight, hating myself, losing the weight, promising myself I won't gain again, then gaining the weight.... it's a vicious cycle. Right now, I just feel like... "stop the world, I wanna get off!" Yup. That's how I feel.