This is part of an e-mail I sent to my best friend (who is also struggling to lose weight) that I thought I'd share with you all. General ravings of a madwoman, I suppose



So many people are noticing the way I eat. I don't parade it around, I just sort of do my own thing, you know? I buy a turkey sandwich (on wheat bread) from the deli and use only light mayonnaise with plenty of mustard. My coworkers think I'm crazy for spending $3 on a sandwich that lasts me two days. Even the skinny ones. I also bring things from home occasionally. The last two days I've brought pre-packaged tuna salad kits. 210 calories and plenty of protein and a little carbs, it keeps my energy up.

But people notice these things and they ask about it. They wonder what "diet" I'm on and are always surprised when I say "None. I'm just trying to eat healthier". If they make fun of the way I'm eating, I reply, "I didn't lose 36 pounds by eating big macs every day. I lost it by doing what I'm doing right here."

They stop. They say "Wow." and tell me that they admire me. Admire me... for doing what everyone knows they should do to stay healthy. Why? I know why, but I still can't get over the fact that people are so shocked by me.

Part of me still feels extremely self-conscious around skinny girls. After all, I'm still 14-20 pounds overweight. But after being as heavy as I was (and I'm about 3 inches shorter than you, so we were probably proportionally about the same build) I see my body so differently now. I don't have a dimply butt. Okay, so there are a couple dimples. Cellulite is genetic.

I wonder, though, will I ever feel "fit"? Will I ever be able to fit in with the "skinny girls"? Do I want to?

I'm doing this to be healthy above all other things. I am in the best shape of my life, though that puts the rest of my life in a sad state. But my true victory comes in the fact that I finally gave myself permission to treat my body as it should be treated and not to constantly malnourish it. I want to live to have children and grandchildren and great grandchildren and still be able to run after ALL of them. All 127 of them

That was a good story. More of us should eat like that!

People are shocked because it takes a lot to change an eating lifestyle. Sometimes skinny gals are shocked cuz you can eat so much and lose. Sometimes they are shocked because even though they are skinny their lifestyle is terrible. Keep up the good work.

Try not to let this stuff bother you so much, although it is a bit tough to deal with I imagine. Try though.

There will always be people in your life to be there to question why you do things that might seem out of the regular pattern everyone else takes. I think once you give this answer a few times, and they see that you are looking really great, they'll get the idea.

SOME people who have never had a weight problem do not even really think about what they eat, they just stuff it on in. There are others who eat well because they know it's good for them, even if they don't have a weight problem.

You just keep doing what you're doing. It is working, and it will keep working. People will come and go but you'll always be with you. You are doing right by being good to yourself and that's the most important thing.

Congrats to you on the pounds you've lost!

Even though I've lost 40 some odd pounds-probably more since those last 5 pounds keep coming back-I still feel like my old fat self. I don't feel thinner. It's something to think about. I have to pull out my pair of fat jeans that I kept and try them on periodically to remind myself that there is a difference.

I run, walk and ride my bike on a regular basis. I've joined a running club. And I still don't feel "fit" even though I'm in much better shape then when I started. And I still feel like the "fat" friend in a group. I don't mope about it. I realize that's is crazy thing going on in my brain and that it's not real...but still it's there -a little niggle in the back of my brain telling me all about it.

Lydia, you have done marvelous. Don't let what anyone else thinks bother you. I love it where you said "I didn't lose 36 lbs. by eating big mac's everyday". That's exactly right, you know what is healthy for you and you are doing it.
I constantly have people look at me weird and make comments now that I am on maintenance. They often say "I thought you were through with that dumb diet". "You don't need to lose any more weight". I try to explain sometimes that if I went back to my old eating habits that the weight would be right back. I didn't do this just to hit a number and then go right back up. I did it for my health. Many people just dont' get it.

Whenever someone asks me if I am on a diet I say "No, I'm just taking care of myself and eating food I enjoy" or if they ask if I always eat like that I say "Why yes, don't you?" in a puzzled voice as if they are the weirdos, not me It usually stops the questions/comments.

One time when I was fed up with the comments on my daily salad I just said "Yeah well, my ancestors were bunny rabbits so what can I do?" and laughed - that put an end without it getting negative.

I don't know why some people feel the need to comment on other people's eating habits. I guess that sometimes it bothers others to see someone doing what they know they should be doing themselves and it makes them feel inadequate about their own issues.