Hi Ya'll

My sex drive has been Zero for a long time. I just don't feel attractive. If I don't find my self attractive then how can my husband? Plus I know what my husband finds attractive and my body isn't it......I just am dying to lose this weight I want to feel good about myself and my body.

ANyone else?

Someone else recently posted about this so you aren't alone. I've heard a lot of ladies who are overweight feel their drive decline as their self esteem does. I believe, no matter how hard it seems, you have to start by feeling good about your body and yourself and then you can follow through on the actions to lose the weight.

Personally, I don't have any issues but also I've come to terms with my weight and I try to act sexy, no matter what my weight is. Also, I've never known what it is like to be skinny, so that might be a difference. I have to work with what I got

Are you on meds? If so, what? I found that wellbutrin has made all the difference for me.

I've never had a sex drive really, thin or fat. I'm happy with that and it doesn't bother me, but that's just me.

I find the thinner I am the more of a sex drive I have. I also dress a little better and try not to hide behind t-shirts. It's all in mind.

hey pumpkinprincess, I agree with you when i use too be thinner then I know i had more self confidence, and felt so sexy know my sex life is in the toilet.

If you are depressed then that will DEF affect your sex drive! I have problems with seasonal depression and my sex drive really goes down when I'm down. But I really try and get around it, it really is all in the mind! I'll try to dress a little sexier or do my makeup or hair (something that never gets done otherwise-I work daycare, the kids don't care if I wear makeup or if my hair is done, in fact I probably would scare them ) My DH accepts me for me regardless of weight, I'm doing this all for me!

yes, depression zaps your sex drive, also the meds to correct it do. Lack of sleep, being a mother and stess all do it too.
Sex is in the mind... you have to feel good about yourself before you can give yourself to someone else. I too, felt better thinner....

One word-Wellbutrin. I just can't tell you what an amazing thing it has been.

I'm not sure how my sex drive compares to other peoples'. I know my DH would want it every night. He actually gets it 2 or 3 times a week. I am actually an interested participant about once a week.

My sex drive fluxuates with my cycle, and I have been having problems with that the last two months, so needless to say, no sex drive. I know that I have been slightly depressed also due to gaining back all and more of what I lost prior to my vacation last month. My husband is pretty understanding, but yesterday I found in our mail a new subscription bill to Playboy. I asked DH why and he said "If I can't get it for free, then I might as well pay for it". I kinda laughed it off at the time, but now I feel like my husband finds me unappealing/sexy and it hurts. Still staying focused on the healthy lifestyle and losing weight, but what to do about the sex drive, I don't know other than losing the weight and feeling better about myself.

This is my very first post on 3fatchicks. So first of all, HI! Now, I just want to mention that Welbutrin is not the answer for everyone. If your doctor really wants you on an antidepressant and you want to as well, please look into them all. I have been on 3 different types, and had pretty bad side effects on all of them, especially bad was the Welbutrin. I know they can be very helpful to a lot of people, I just wasn't one of them.
What has worked for me? My sex drive and mental health has greatly improved since I began regular exercise. And it really helps when I get some "me" time away from the kids. I have lost 80 lbs since October, and I am now 3 lbs past my original goal weight. I was very lucky that my husband decided to join my new eating and exercise routine along the way, and through every long month he would tell me how good I was doing and how great I looked. Now he tells me I'm "tiny", which I know I am not (I'm 6' 187lbs), but boy does that make me feel warm and fuzzy all over!! I've always struggled with my sex drive, and still do, but it gets better and better when I feel like the strong and healthy woman I've always wanted to be.
Hang in there!! Treat your body well, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty!

I know how you feel - my sex drive took a definite nose-dive as I started gaining weight. I didn't even notice as it was happening...

You're definitely not alone.

Oh yes..My hubby claims to love the way I look no matter what I way (and maybe he really does..I don't know)..But I know if in my mind I don't think I am attractive I am ashamed for him to see me like this..Oddly enough even though I have lost some weight now I still don't feel any better with sex drive now..maybe because I got used to not having it or maybe because I need to lose more weight yet for my self esteem to get better.