so heres the deal as some of you long termers would be aware i used to be 220-230. i used to train regularly and eat propperly then i got hurt and lost a years training through bad shoulders.

well i am now 308!! now here lies the problem i know i'm fat. i know its bad for me i could get heart disease die young bla bla bla. i need to lose weight and i have every intention of doing so but when it comes to the crunch i can't be bothered.

in the old days i fed of anger. i had split with my ex and it got nasty so i used to train to take my mind off things. running was like moving meditation just listening to your breathing is very calming. and the more my body hurt on the outside the more it covered up the hurt on the inside.

i'm now very happy with Rachael and we've been together about 9 months. the problem is i have no anger to feed off. i've tried everything to get back that motivation and i can't, nor can i find anything else to get me out of bed.

i never want to get married so i don't need to worry about looking good in a suit. i'm hoping to go for an academic career so its not really a problem there i'm going to become a diabetic anyway its a family thing basically you get into your 40's and thats it. (come on stem cell research to cure that one!)

so basically i'm stuck between a pie and tight belt.

Si dear...

I too used anger once to help my weight loss. After the anger disappeared, I had nothing to feed off of. I had to find a new motivation. My motivation is that I want to know what it is like to not be wearing size 20 clothes, I want to know what it is to weigh less than 260 (which is where I was at in Junior High), I want to be healthy, I want to be active and I want to look really good. You just need to find your motivation again. You can do it. I know you can.

Even though diabetes is a family thing, you are NOT destined to get it for sure. You are young enough to get your body in shape to NOT have to go through that, or at the very least, prolong it as long as possible.

And even though you may never get married, don't you want to feel your best anyway? If not for Rachael, for yourself.....

Good health is a priceless thing. Get healthy while you are still young. The older you get, the harder it gets.

It seems a shame that you are just assuming you'll get diabetes. Its not a foregone conclusion is it? Even if it is isn't that MORE reason to weigh less?

Seems like you're in the 'why bother, nothing will change really' mindset. I was there for YEARS!

In the end though I found my motivation. My dad died and I was smacked in the face with mortality. May you never have such motivation!

But now I'm heading towards the end of my first year eating healthily and I weigh 44 pounds less than I did. If I hadn't done it I'd have weighed at least 7 pounds more than I did. So things really have changed.

So maybe if you can't be arsed you could try just staying the same. Just don't put any more on for a while. Maybe that might motivate you to lose after a while.

When it comes down to it being fat isn't criminal (although you can't always tell it isn't!) but its better for you that you're not...and better for your girlfriend. I bet she wants you around for a long time and vice versa.

I am a tell it like it is type of person, so I hope this doesn't offend you but . . . I'm going to risk it.

It sounds to me like you are your own worst enemy!! It's very difficult to deal with what others think and say but worse to be negative in your thoughts and feelings about yourself. You need to start loving yourself and maybe you will then find the strength (and I realize that it does take a lot of strength to better yourself) to do what you have to. I have tried and failed many times, but never have I even given up and you have to keep trying. You have to keep grabbing those bootstraps, no matter how short they get and pull and pull and pull. Maybe try to fix one problem at a time so you aren't completely overwhelmed.

I have a sister and a nephew who are both diabetic and it's no picnic. I'm sure you know that, but I hate to see you just resign yourself to the fact that you will just become diabetic when you might be able to do something about it to prevent it from happening. Just like I know I'm going to die someday, but I'm not going to keep from trying to be as healthy as I can be to live as long as I can. I want quality in my life and I'm having too much fun being alive to just hole up and quit.

You might check into seeing a dr. about depression - it sounds to me like you may be suffering from that. You also need to find more fun things to do and maybe you'll start to care about yourself. How can you care about a girlfriend when you don't care about you?????

Please don't give up - it's a long journey indeed but worth it in the end. I'm only half way there and I am still trying and I will get there eventually.

DNR

well i'm not depressed i've never been happier. logically i know the reasons to be healthy and slim and stuff but in my mind i'm like why bother i'm happy as i am.

Apparently, the part you wrote that said, "nor can I find anything else to get me out of bed," must have a different connotation. The way you worded that sounded like you were depressed or something . . . Are you saying that you are having too much fun in bed to get out?????? If so, that completely changes things.

DNR

I think it's great that you are happy and enjoying yourself, I would think that would be a great motivator to make it last as long as you can. I understand that is easier said than done, because I had a very hard time getting weight off while I was married, but like someone else said I bet your girlfriend wants you around for a very long time and wants to enjoy as many things as she can with you. It is definately not a requirement to be thin in order to have a wonderful and full life, lots and lots of people have had very full, happy lives while being overweight, although many lived shorter lives than they would have because of it. It all comes down to personal choice, but to me you aren't really happy where you are at or you wouldn't have made the post at all, I believe you are happy in your life and your relationship, but that really you do want to make a change in your body and health, you just haven't found the way to do that yet!! Maybe you and your girlfriend could do it together?? I don't really have the answers, I lost weight when I was unhappy after a break up too and then gained it when I got married and was comfortable. Hang in there, you might find that happier motivation yet!!

with out Exercise; proper Diet you will become a Diabetic, if you let your self go any farther.You have to want to lose weight! Fight for it man its your health!!!!! And you ( life )

my whole family except my older brother are all Diabetic's and he is border line
my sister is half blind. my Dad Died in my arm's in the hospital when I had to tell him they had to remove his Leg due to Diabetis as he had steped on a tack it would not heal and the flesh was falling off his foot. Talk about smell.
Don't allow your self to go down that path you can do it if you want.

I was 310 pounds BMI 40 I lost 120 pounds it will take time there is no quick fix, but you can do it if you change your life style. Good luck let me no if I can help John.

It is only a family thing is you continue the same path that your other family members have.

Do any of your family members have complications? Are they extremely slow healing from things that should only take a short while? Are they faced with multiple health problems?

You are right...you need to find the motivation within. Personally I know that 80 pounds would change how I feel, not only about my looks, but just doing everyday things. Carrying around an extra 80 pounds makes everything that much harder.

Hopefully you can find your motivation again.