Hi! I am back on the wagon, at least taking it one day at a time!

I think something may have "clicked"... I was in Florida last week to visit some friends, and they are all skinny and hotties! I realized I am tired of being the fat chick in a circle of skinny hotties friends!

Has this happened to you before?

I am going back to Florida in November and I hope to lose some weight by then!

I am doing good foodwise, detoxing myself of sugar. I am doing SBD and I had done that in the past and I had lost a good numbers of pounds but due to some events happening that I had fell off the wagon! Now I am back on it and I want to fit in my clothes that I had bought that i no longer fit and I miss those clothes!



I need to edit the weight tacker.. last I checked couple days was 206 lbs!

Oh yes. Many times and for too long. Now, with the exception of one friend that's skin and bones, I'm the thinnest of them all. Sadly, I never feel like boasting. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, it would be great to be thinner than the rest of them!"

Now that I am, I feel almost guilty for being the one the men are eyeballing while ignoring the others. Like last weekend at the bar my friends and I go to, my friend who is heavier than me was talking to some guy she liked and he was looking at me instead.

I felt bad about that

So it's kind of a double-edged sword. When I was heavier than everyone else, I felt bad about myself. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I feel bad for them.

All my friends are thinner than I am... I often wonder if they feel sorry for me .

Yeah i wonder the same thing. I was at the Hulk roller coaster, and they have those two seat tests where you sit to see if you fit. I did.. but my hottie friends asked me why I needed to test them and that they knew I will fit into it! LOL I told them I was just testing to save myself humilation if I didn't test and ended up not fitting and having to leave the ride!

If you are ever in Florida, go to Orlando Universal Studios and ride the Hulk roller coaster! I loved it!

That all depends on whether or not they've ever been heavy.

Part of my reason for feeling bad for them is because I've been there. And I know what it feels like. I know how I felt about myself. And I simply can't feel 'good' about being thinner than they are knowing how miserable they are about themselves. Because, as I said, I've been there.

Now, someone whose never been heavy might not have that 'sympathy' for others that are heavy, I don't know. Someone who is thin who has ALWAYS been thin might not understand what it feels like. But for me, who has "been there, done that", knows what it feels like. And it sometimes makes me sad.

I have often wondered the same thing.
I know that they don't act like it but you have to wonder sometimes whats going on in the back of their minds.

I have been the fattest of the group before. And I can tell you that I am happy, happy, happy not to be her anymore. At this point I'd say I'm probably in the middle of everyone. But, even the heaviest of my friends isn't huge like I was way back when.

As for whether or not they felt sorry for me when I was so fat, I'd say they did not. As my friends they felt bad that I struggled with self esteem...but they always so me for who I was not what I was. In fact, I haven't had a friend yet look at before and after pictures with me who didn't tell me that they had no idea I was as big as I was back then. They just didn't think of me in terms of size.

I have a friend who was very shallow in that way, not overtly towards me but just in her general viewpoint. She would make comments about someone being 'big', and would complain about her weight even though she was wearing size 7 jeans. And here I was 200+ pounds! One day I was just fed up with her and told her that her commments really told me how she viewed me, because the people she called 'big' were in reality smaller than me! I know she probably didn't even think about me in that way, but I just got sick and tired of her shallowness. Needless to say, we kinda drifted apart...

Oh, and just have to comment on your screen name, thinbefore40! That really struck a cord with me, because I was bound and determined that I would have lost my weight before my 40th birthday, which was last August. Already I say that the 40's are the best years so far, and having the weight off is one big reason. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Thinbefore40: I have been there! Is sucks to make sure you are in the right row for the coaster that has double seatbelts to make sure that you have the extra room (the bar that comes over locks looser on that one)!
In the past, before I moved to TN, I gauged my weight on how well I fit in the seat of the double dragons coaster :P

OK...the real reason I came to rant was because I just went through this thing with my company - we are ordering shirts for a 3 day event. Of course the people that are going (5 of us) order the shirts that don't go up to 1X or 2X, they are S-XXL (ladies 18). I am stuck trying to find shirts that are at least the same color (or close to it) that come in my size. THEN when they come in, it's a hit or miss on if they will actually fit. I hate the fact that I am going to look different than everyone for the simple reason I am too fat to fit in the regular shirts.

Thinbefore40: I have 4 roomies, all girls. 3 of the 4 weigh < 120 and the 4th only weighs more cause she is taller. All of them are certifiable hotties. I feel like a giant blob next to them most times.

Piperboo: That really sucks, and I'm sorry, there really are no words of encouragement cause that just plain all round sucks. Just think that by next year, if you stick with you're healthy lifestyle, it won't be an issue

When we moved here from another city I was stunned that there were no fat moms in my neighborhood. This town is so much more health concious than the old factory town I lived in before. Everyone here was so friendly but I felt so uncomfortable being the only overweight woman in our group. My husband always laughs when a house goes up for sale in our neighborhood because I am always hoping that a fat mom will move in. It hasn't happened yet, but I am getting used to being the odd one out. I've just recently begun a friendship with one of the skinnies and opening myself up to her and I find she and I have so much in common. I now realize that I have been practicing reverse fat discrimination ("skinny discrimination" maybe???). But that is a whole 'nother thread, lol.

That is a whole 'nother thread probably, but I know I used to and probably still discriminate a little. I thought the skinny, pretty girls all had it made, until I became friends with a group of them about two years ago. In being in that group, I realized that they have JUST as many issues about themselves as I did. There will always be something new to worry about with your body, no matter what weight you are.

It really is what started this journey again. I want to shop in SKINNY stores!! To be able to walk into ANY store and try something on...man what a feeling I bet.

I remember how terrible I felt ...this was THIRTY years ago, when I was a teenager. I was 5'6 and weighed 145. Not perfect, not thin, -- but okay. I worked in a store as a cashier, and we had to wear these ugly yellow smocks. The head cashier had to order our smocks when we started working there, and she said to me, "Well, I guess you need the XXL?" I was like, WTF? ? ? And I think she ruined me for life...I didn't even think I was overweight then, but obviously everybody else did. All the other cashiers were getting their little extra-small petite smocks, and I was supposed to get an XXL. Grrrrrrrrr.

I could still smack the you-know-what out of her when I think about it and she's probably been dead for 20 years.

Piperboo, I know what you mean about the shirts. When the hospital I worked for always ordered us shirts, they ordered mine a 2X and they never fit right. I didn't say anything because I was embarassed to admit I was too big. I just didn't wear them.