Feeling immensely loopy here. The desire to binge is immense and the only thing that is keeping me from the fridge is posting here. My mind is filled with food food food and as much as i look forward to bingeing....I can also see the ugly outcome of the binge....the self-hatred, disgust, the fatigue......I don't want those feelings. they make me sad. I don't want to be sad.
I haven't taken my depressant meds yet.just don't feel like taking them. don't ask me why. I don't know. BUt I will take them. now. there. done it.
very stressed. so much work to do. exams coming up. breathe girlie breathe. inhale. count to ten. count your blessing. focus. be logical. be purpousful. be organized. be realistic. be sure.
a mineful of emotions. mania? I 'pretend' so much that sometimes i forget what I really feel like. I am always 'smiling' and being 'bubbly' that sometimes I forget when the show is over. I forget that the curtains are down already. I forget that it is now okay to be 'me'.
what am I feeling now?
?

to it and hello