I just had to put it in writing.

"I don't just want to lose weight, I want control over my eating."

What I mean by that is, I want to eat right without the constant struggle of appetite vs. motivation. I just want the self-discipline to make it to the next meal without munching on all the stuff lying around at work, to eat the right foods and not have times where I get disgusted and give up "just for this meal" and grab McDonald's or something. I want to just do it, without it being an issue.

I called it "self-discipline" above, but I prefer to think of it as "personal power." I want to improve my personal power.

So I'm writing this as a sort of resolution, getting it on record.

I didn't do that well on my diet this week, partly because of my period, but I said at the outset that nothing is forbidden on the diet, and I had ways to work in some chocolate, and I didn't stick to it. I did well on my exercise, and I didn't binge, but I certainly ate wrong too many times this week.

So... weight loss AND personal power, that's what I'm working towards!

I have to confess, though, that my "personal power" feels at low ebb right now.

Hang in there!!! You can do this!

Thanks, Val and Cassie! You are both inspirations to me -- both started about where I did weightwise, and both have lost much more than me. I can't weight (pun intended) to catch up to you!

I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR on this one. I couldn't have said it better myself. It isn't just about "losing weight"--it's about being in control. Eating when you're hungry and not eating when you're not...being NORMAL.

I wish you luck on your journey. I am right there with you!

Siena, when you write it down like that, it looks so much more doable. Thank you for this post... it's a good reminder for all of us. We need that personal power in all aspects of our life.
I hope your weekend is going well.

Thanks, all! Your respeonses are so great!

MyThreeTots, I don't eat when I'm not hungry -- I'm just hungry far too often. LOL, I was talking about getting control of my reaching for food, not getting control of my appetite -- if I could get control of that, I'd be on Easy Street!

Fatt_lady, I am rooting for you on conquering that fast food addiction. I used McD's as an example, but for me, it could be anything, not just fast food.

Ellis, I love that you said it makes it look doable. I'm going to remind myself of that, that it's doable!

I'm doing okay so far today. Oatmeal and a banana for breakfast, then chicken salad on one slice of bread for lunch and some apple juice. Dinner will be fish in a citrus-honey sauce and a broccoli-cauliflower-pasta side. I'm thinking about leaving out the pasta, but there's not much in there to start with. There's still room for fruit and dairy servings for snacks. I will not indulge today in anything else.

Siena1383 - Oh I understand what you were saying. I was just kinda "confessing" my own "Addictions".

Good Luck!

Fatt-lady, I understood that. I was just sharing back atcha.

Feeling more in control today, though struggling.

Siena1383 - I hear ya! I started out with all good intentions and totally blew it today! We went out to eat with a friend we haven't seen in a while and I just blew it! I had a salad, pasta and instead of getting half or more than half put in a box immediately, I ate most of it AND I shared dessert with hub!