When I signed up for LAWL, the questionairre about our health history asked about having a history of eating disorders. I indeed have struggled with bulimia/anorexia for over 20 years. One time I was hospitalized for 7 days to deal with it. That was 10 years ago. Fast forward to January of this year and I'm being offered the LAWL program for FREE in exchange for my testimonials. I thought I had my eating disorder beat so I didn't mention it on the health survey...but now it's started to rear it's ugly head again. First it was just having a little cheat...and then throwing up. Then it was having a bigger cheat and purging. Now I just ate a salad for lunch (POP) and threw up in the bathroom at work. I'm afraid to tell anyone about this. I'm afraid it's going to get worse. Oh friends...what should I do? What have I done? I've opened up this Pandora's Box again and I don't know what to do.
Thank you for listening. (I can't believe I threw up at work)

Oh, Radio Girl, i am so sorry you are struggling with these issues. If you want to nip this in the bud right now, and seems as if you do, you need to get some help right now. Do not let it go any further. Ask your HR person at work if you have an EAP (Employee Assistance Plan). Nearly all employers have it now, and it would pay for 5 or 10 counseling sessions. You CAN beat this. We will be here to hold your hand and listen, let us know if there is anything we can do to support you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Katie

BTW, EAPs are totally confidential, no one has to know anything at all.

Thank you Katie. I just can't believe how fast the feelings and the impulses came over me. Yes, my company does have an EAP...but I'm sure they will just refer me immediately to an eating disorders counselor. Do you think I should tell them at the Center? Or just wait to see what the counselor says? Do you think I can continue on the program or will they make me quit? I can't believe this. I'm going to let so many people down...

Radio - Please don't worry about letting anyone down. You have to be healthy first and foremost for YOU. Katie gave great advice, seek help through your EAP. You never know what could happen with that unless you're willing to try it. As for the LAWL plan, see what the counselor suggests, and if they are not able to help you come to a decision, we are always here for you too! Please keep us posted, and best of luck.

Carm

No, you are not going to let anybody down. You deserve the best for yourself, and you need to focus on you right now, nobody else. I would not tell the center yet. I would wait until you see a counselor, and let them help you put together a plan of action. We all have stumbling blocks, this is one of yours, but remember it just a block, not a wall. You will overcome this thing.

Gosh I love you guys! Thanks so much for your support. I feel a little better now. I'm not going to say anything at the Center until I see a counselor. I know that I need to call right away and get in. I remember the last time when I had to go to the hospital...the only place I could go was about an hour away from my home and I wasn't allowed to see my family at all. No phone calls...nothing. It was so hard!

Honey hang in there and remember you have choices, every step of the way. You're in control, and I think its great that you are going to get help sooner than later.

Radio, I have to agree with Katie and Carm. This is Great advise. I know from experience in working with people who had similar problems, that you MUST get help for yourself. And NO! you aren't letting anyone down.

Please though do get some help. As I'm sure you know this kind of thing can drag you down fast.

HUGS to you. Keep us posted.

Radio--the last thing you need to worry about is leeting anyone down--we are all here for you and you have to take care of YOU first and foremost. Fortunately you recognize where this road will lead and obviously want to get the help you need. YOu will be in my prayers and I hope for a speedy recovery. You can beat this.

Radio~ im really sorry to hear what you are going through...it must be very difficult to struggle with such a problem...the best thing for you is to talk to a counselor...youve made the first step toward helping yourself by realizing you want help...dont worry what anyone will think...whatever you do is confidential and you dont have to tell anyone about the therapy or your problem...

Oh, Radio! I feel badly for you in your struggle. You have taken a huge first step and a great leap of faith in your confession to us. Please follow through with your EAP -and please don't worry about letting anyone down. At this time, you need to think of yourself and your well-being first. We are all here for you. Please let us know if/how we can help.