Hello everyone...once again I am trying to lose this weight. I seem to be able to talk and talk and talk about losing weight but never give it a go. I know all the things I should eat and I know that any type of physical activity will help and is better than none. But yet I have failed every time I try to lose this weight. I get all pumped up and talk to friends/family and decide to lose this weight but then don't follow through or keep at it. I feel like all I do is talk about losing weight. I am rather large now and for health reasons need to lose this weight but still I have not really given weight loss an honest try. At 200 I was like oh I will lose it..at 250 I thought oh I will lose it...then here I am at 330 and still haven't really honestly tried to lose the weight. I feel so discouraged now because of my health and my size. I know all of us start at all different weights but one thing I think we all have to do is decide to takcle the weight. So my question is how? How do some finally have that power to get up and get the weight off..while others give up on Day3? I feel lazy at times but I know deep down I want to get this weight off. Also I feel like I have so far to go and it just stresses me out and I give up. Also physical activity is very hard right now. I was looking into the leslie walk at home tapes. Are they easier to do? Do you actually lose weight from doing them? I feel like I am so negative when it comes to losing weight. I start to tell myself this weight will never come off. Maybe I am just really impatient. So basically how do you go from all talk to action? Any advice/input would be great! Thank you all for letting me share/vent. Have a good day!

michelle

wow, I could have written this post myself. I am exactly where you are in this weight loss journey. I weigh 325, my highest being 329. And even though I talk a great talk, I have never really done anything about it. I "start over" all the time, but my efforts are always short lived and I always gain it all back.

I don't have any great advice here, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Hey, I can give you the perspective of someone who finally got motivated to once and for all get the weight off. I started a little lower than you and it took me six months of contemplating and procrastinating before I finally buckled down to do it. I had been gaining weight in this time frame, because I kept having many "I'm going on a diet Monday and this is my farewell meal" meals. I had just let my weight get too high and my eating get too out of control. I don't know how old you are, but I came to the realization that I did not want to spend my 20's in poor health and feeling awful about myself.

I think making such a life-changing commitment takes a lot of mental-preparedness, and you are probably experiencing this now. Since it's so actively on your mind, just wait it out until you have the final "I'm going to do this" moment. It took 6 months for mine to come, and for others it unfortunately takes years. But you ultimately decide when that moment comes. I don't know how you could speed up that process, but do some self-analyzing and soul searching and ask yourself, "Is this really where I want to be for any longer?" My question to you is has it been long enough? Will it take 5,10 more years? And will you get even bigger to make it that much harder? If you had the attitude, "This weight will never come off," then the weight WILL NEVER COME OFF.

As for your question about physical activity, I began doing Denise Austin. I was limited, so I could only do her aerobic segments. I only did about 15 minutes at a time, because I was so out of shape. I also began to walk outside and on the treadmill (which I could only do in 4 minute stretches).

I wish you all the luck in the world. Much strength and peace.

I know exactly how you feel. I don't know if I have any answers, but here's my story. I had made a number of attempts, lost some weight and always gained it back. And there I was, staring 300 pounds in the face. And doing nothing.

I honestly can't tell you what turned it around for me, but I had a "click" from, I think, a series of events.
- A fall on the stairs that hurt (really hurt) my coccyx and bad pain.
- The inability to fit into size 28s ("I can't even shop!")
- A lightbulb moment as a 39 year old ("I want to be fitter when I'm 50 than I am when I turn 40.").
- A conversation with my husband, in which I say "Why bother trying, "I'll only gain it back." And he says "Well, with that attitude, you certainly will!" [oh, that pissed me off, but he was right]

So, I started. Portion control. Moving more. Baby steps. At the time I started I think I wasn't committed. My husband, also obese, was not on board, and felt a little threatened in that what-does-this-mean-for-me way...which made things more difficult.

So, we'd go to Bob Evans and instead of the eggs, bacon, hashbrowns and panckakes, I'd just get 2 eggs and an English muffin. It was hard at first, on the one hand, but I realized that it was possible to go out and eat less! At home, more veggies in the food , lighter preparation, and the food was good! I became committed very quickly, at least to the eating, and ended up losing over 10 pounds that first month, before I started seriously calorie counting and exercising...

I don't know why I didn't give up this time (well, not yet!). But I do know I kept saying in my head things like "I want to be fitter when I'm 50, and eating that cookie isn't worth it." I tried to keep that long term goal in my head, rather than the short term "want". And every day I was successful was another place to turn for inspiration "You said no to that cookie yesterday, so you can do it today." I started to turn the feelings of deprivation into feelings of success -- choosing health over short term desire.

The marker of this is the basket of candy on our secretary's desk. I used to eat from it every day. And before I started I wondered how I would avoid its siren call. At first, I swear the candy in the basket taunted me. But I resisted. And after a while I realized that not only was I okay without the candy, but that the fact that I didn't eat from the basket was not something to be mourned, but celebrated. It's been 10 months and I still haven't eaten anything from that basket (not that I haven't eaten any candy, or even eaten sweets at work.). That basket is now my "victory basket".

So, how do you be successful? I think you play a lot of games in your head. Honestly, this time just wasn't as hard as other times I tried, when I always felt at war with myself every single day about what I couldn't eat. This time I feel I make better choices and am more comfortable walking away from foods. I had a long term goal, and I knew I didn't want to be hostage to the pain and suffering I was likely to encounter if I continued. I didn't think I had a choice.

So I have no amazing advice, but to say that I never thought I could do it and here I am.

Good luck!

wyllen, i never heard your story but now I have! YOu are so strong, hopefully I get to make a "candy victory basket" (with chocolate in it, its impossible!).

Thanks so much you girls for sharing! Just hearing your stories/adivce and your "click" moments helps. ITs nice to feel like you are not the only one stuck in pause mode. I think the hardest part of losing weight is the mental part. Its so hard to change mindsets and thoughts. I have been trying to be more positive lately and that is so hard to do! I really hope that I can just tackle this weight. And like I said earlier please do share your story/suggestions/advice. I am for sure tired of talking about losing weight and not doing anything about it!

JacobsM~I just want to wish you luck with your weight loss. It really is nice to know you are not alone!

Harpo and Wyllenn~Thank you so much for your stories/input. Congrats to both of you for such awesome success. I really hope the moment comes soon so I can lose this weight. I really feel like I am at that point. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

The hardest part for me is like I said being 330 it feels like how in the world am I going to lose this weight?!!! And when you can barely work out you feel like you haven't really accomplished much. And I hate how I give up so easy. Also the biggest thing for me is I do not eat enough! I know that may sound strange but I have bad eating habits I learned from childhood. My mom was a single mom worked long hours and we really never had breakfast and ate a larger dinner. I am still doing that! I skip breakfast and sometimes lunch and then eat way to much at dinner! I find it so hard to make myself eat smaller meals through out the day. And some days I actually don't eat anything! I don't know why this is so hard to do. Once again thanks so much for the input!

michelle

The best advice I can give is to just start somewhere. Pick one thing and do it for two weeks. Walk for 5 minutes every morning, for instance, but don't bother changing anything else. After two weeks, change one more thing. Start eating a small breakfast, for instance - an egg and a piece of toast maybe. Two weeks later, change one more thing, and so on. Sometimes it's too overwhelming to begin and try to change your entire life in one day... but you can change one single thing in two weeks.

Also, keep a journal, diary, or log of some kind. Write down the thing you are choosing to change at the beginning of the two weeks. Jot at least a note every day about how you did and how you felt. It doesn't have to be fancy... I have a plain spiral notebook that I write stuff in. Or use the word processor on your computer... Then read and re-read that journal every once and a while, to remind yourself of how well you're doing and to encourage yourself to keep going.

Anyway... that's about it. Just start somewhere... just start with one single thing. The next year is going to come and go whether you do anything or not, so you might as well do something, right?

Good luck and keep posting!

-Lala

Start with something small -- you don't have to go into this with a "big bang" approach. Sometimes a whole-life change plan, executed all at once, is so ovewhelming in concept that it is hard to acutally do.

Pick one thing and do it this week. Give up soda. Or desserts. That's it. Then add a new thing next week. And then a new thing the week after that. Sometimes smaller changes are easier to make into habits then trying to change everything all at once. You get to experience the pleasure of accomplishing the goal while get on the road to good health.

You've been given such great advice already. One other thing you might consider is not immediately thinking about losing weight. Just losing weight is such a broad goal - especially when you have a lot of weight to lose. Instead, concentrate on reducing your portions, making healthier food choices, exercising as much as you can. Take care of those things and the weight will take care of itself. Once you get yourself into a healthier routine take weight loss 1 pound at a time. I think about it as walking across a really high and narrow swinging bridge. If you look down you might fall or even be too scared to cross at all. But, if you look straight ahead and take one step at a time you are eventually going to make it to the other side. You can do it!

I have only lost 4 lbs at this point, but I have people actually asking me if I've lost weight! I guess what got me started this time was just the mirror. I hate the way I look and I know that there is a healthier, thinner me inside this obese body. That's another thing that got me, when I read that with my height (5') and my weight, my BMI registered me as obese. What an eye opener! I have made little adjustments, mainly portion control, but the big thing for me was analyzing why I wanted to eat. It was mostly for comfort. Food is not the great comfort - and I remind myself of that everytime I want to eat when I am not physically hungry. I try to walk on the treadmill 1/2 hour every day (sometimes I can only do 20 minutes, but it's still moving). I believe that baby steps add up. One step at a time, Lady, and pretty soon you start seeing results and it's all worth it. I'm excited for you...get motivated and be happy!

Barb

I felt like I could really relate to what you wrote. I had a health scare, not related to weight, that helped to wake me up. I had to get a mammogram, and at 320 lbs, that was not a fun experience. I just thought how much I'm putting myself at risk by being this size. On top of that, I was having problems walking at that weight. And at night, experiencing apnea.

I also was at the point where the biggest size was starting to not fit me. I didn't want to think about not even being able to find a store that would carry my size.

I saw a Dr. Phil episode where he said something along the lines of you have to deal with whatever obstacles are in your way to losing weight, some people do have it harder (I'd been telling myself that I just had too many problems around the weight loss and I couldn't do it, that instead I needed to accept being a large-sized woman).

I know not everyone likes Dr. Phil, but I would suggest reading his weight loss book. You don't have to agree with it all to get something out of it. There are lots of elements to the weight loss journey that you may not even be aware of, it's not always just a matter of throwing out the candy and buying veggies.

There's also a lot of help and support out there, from groups, to therapists, to dieticians and personal trainers.

I wouldn't want anyone to wait for an "ah ha" moment when it might end up being an "oh no!" moment instead, like it was with me.

Good luck!

Everyone has different reasons/motivations for getting started, and I think everyone faces pretty much the same issues: can I do it? will it work? is it worth it? will I ever be "normal"? and so on. The biggest thing is that no one can do it for you and no one can motivate you into such a big change -- only you can do this for yourself. AND, you will do it when you are ready to jump in and commit. It sounds like you are already there, so GO FOR IT, get some books out of the library, find a plan (reasonable, nutritious, liveable, etc.), and just jump in. Focus on the food first. Then focus on adding activity once you have the eating down. It is overwhelming to do all at once. Also, notice that I said ACTIVITY, not "getting into ridiculous spandex and going to the gym". You need to eat right, and move a bit (walk the dog! stroll downtown shopping! go on a picnic in the park!) FIRST. The cardiovascular stuff will become natural later on when your body is physically ready to handle more stuff. FOOD FIRST, ACTIVITY SECOND, CARDIOVASCULAR EXERCISE WHEN YOU CAN.
You can do it!

I love the advice to "start anywhere" I think this is really really key. The hardest thing is to get started, so pick something that seems doable and go from there. Once you're moving and have a bit of success under your belt it becomes much easier. It's like the laws of momentum. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest tend to stay at rest. (Or something like that, forgive me if I butchered them, physics class was a couple decades ago )

I'm another person why just had a wake up moment and never looked back. I wish I could bottle that feeling for you. I'm not sure where it comes from but I just knew it was time. It wasn't about starting tomorrow or Monday. It was about right now.

And when you get rolling, try not to spend too much time looking far down the road. Don't think about the distance to your final goal, think about the next ten pounds, the next dress size, being able to walk 5 minutes longer or 1/2 a mile faster.

If you have a bad meal or a bad day, remember that's all it is. Go take a walk and make better choices for your next meal. Nobodies perfect.

You can do this. You know what to do, you just need to get that ball rolling. Good Luck!

I've dieted and failed many times in my life. Each time my goal was to lose weight. Sometimes I would actually lose weight, but never keep it off. Then one day I just got sick of being unhealthy and fat. But a month later I found out I was pregnant. So the "dieting" had to wait, but I never lost that desire to lose weight. I think it helped to keep me from gaining too much during the pregnancy. After he was born I started dieting to lose weight again. I found a diet that worked for me, but I just couldn't stick with it, so I quit. For six months after that I ate what I wanted and put back on 20 of the 27 lbs I had lost. I knew I had to change myself because I didn't like who I was becoming. I ate sweets all the time and was setting a bad example for my two boys. So at the beginning of this year I decided to do something. I changed my goals to just being healthy and in better shape. I just wanted to focus on that. I started just counting calories and making healthier choices. So far I've stuck with it for 17 weeks and have lost 27 lbs. I did run into a plateau for quite a while. But I think that's because I wasn't eating enough for how much I was exercising. It's taken me about 2 months to figure that one out. And now I'm losing weight again.

I try to eat veggies at atleast 2 meals a day. I try to eat fruit a couple times a day. I try to eat some form of protein (meat, beans, or dairy) at every meal/snack. I try to drink 100 oz of fluids (64 oz of water, 36 oz of whatever else I want). I try to stay away from processed foods. I try to eat between 1300-1600 calories a day now. (This amount will be different for everyone.)

You have gotten some great advice so far. I was going to recommend starting out with baby steps if you are finding it's hard to change. Just concentrate on one thing at a time. Do that one thing until you are comfortable with it and feel like you can add something else. There are many things to start out with. Here are some things you can start out with: change to drinking 64 oz of water a day... writing everything you eat down each day... do some form of exercise for however much time you feel comfortable with... start eating breakfast even if it has to be a small one right now... cut back on your trigger food (mine is sweets... cookies really)... change your bread to whole wheat... change your meats to lean cuts... cut back on salt and sodium... eat more veggies instead of carby foods... add fruit for snacks during the day... I think there are many different things you can do to start out with. Coming here to 3FC is a great idea. The people here are so helpful, friendly, caring, and supportive. You'll also get tons of ideas for healthy meals, exercise tips, or just basic ways to live a healthy lifestyle.

I hope to see you on here more often. Even though there are people here who start out at different weights, I think we all have something in common and something to contribute. I wish I could help you out more.

I stand in front of a full length mirror with no clothes, and ask myself "how bad do you want it?" I do this every morning. Yes, that's brutal, but I had to get my attention some how. Now it's a ritual. I had to bring myself to a place where I could honestly say, "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". It's my mantra now.
Oh! And one more thing. You'll be AMAZED at how good you'll feel after just the first 10 pounds or so. THAT will help motivate you.
You've gotten some great advice here, nothing I can add to it. One step at a time. This is my 4th time to loose this extra 50 pounds I'm carrying around. Always loose it, always put it back on. So some of this advice i'm taking for myself too. Stick with 3FC too. Great bunch of folks here.
HarpoChic, I was just checking out your photo's. Girl, you look great!!