Struggling today with an event I have tonight - a picnic with my girlfriends at the local farmer's market, where they have live music playing on Wednesdays in the spring and summertime. Its absolutely gorgeous out today, and I think its going to be a lot of fun - sun, music, and good food and wine.

The problem - I am having trouble letting go of some of my eating "rules" for this special occasion. We're not talking going overboard and binging, we're talking about having one piece of fudge for dessert, or having a glass of wine with the picnic. I've calculated out the whole meal on fitday (I was in charge of the picnic so its not TOO bad nutrition wise - except the fudge, but its my specialty...dark chocolate fudge with chopped dried cherries...mmmmmm) - my day will be at about 2200 cals, which is still according to fitday going to leave me with a deficit for the day with the exercise I do and my weight, and I've planned the rest of my day to go a little lighter on my calories without starving myself so I gorge (replaced one of my protein snacks with fruit, reduced lunch portion a bit, etc). I've also been planning pretty much all week to keep my total cals on the low end of my range so I can indulge without making my average for the week high.

Can I get some reassurance that planned indulgences are not all that bad? Don't know why I'm having such guilt - maybe because this is the first day in a while where i've planned to be / have been off plan?

thanks all.

If I were you, I wouldn't have any guilt about this. It's not like you're going to eat everything in sight. I think that giving in to these kinds of things helps so you don't feel deprived. For me, I do the same thing you're doing. This Saturday we have a special occasion to attend. It is going to be all Mexican food, which is my absolute fave, and I plan on eating whatever I want. I will still limit my portions but I am still going to eat. I think we all need to do this once in a while! Don't beat yourself up!!

It is definitely definitely okay. Everyone has to pick a plan that works for them. When I was actively losing weight I had the very occasional special occasion meal, where I indulged to my heart's content. For my birthday, I went to a super fancy restaurant outside Seattle at Salish Lodge. I had wine, ate out of the bread basket (I mean, usually bread with a sandwich or toast is okay, but eating out of the bread basket at a restaurant is a big no no for me), had a cheesy appetizer, decadent creamy entree and had a chocolate mousse dessert, coffee with real cream (still remember the meal fondly, can you tell?). I still lost weight that week! Christmas that same year, I visited my mom in Texas and had Christmas dinner with all the fixings - my mom's sweet potato casserole made with a stick of butter, brown sugar and nuts, home made pie, gravy, everything. I still lost 2 lbs over Christmas.

What was important for me was to recognize it was one MEAL and to immediately get back on track with healthy eating.

Now that I'm maintaining, I have a "treat" meal about once a week. I usually go out with girlfriends and drink wine and split fudgy desserts and go a little wild with the entree. Hasn't interfered with maintenance at all! I don't "borrow" calories from other meals for this treat, it all works out just fine.

Oh, just a note - 2200 calories is not a bad day at all, it's a good day! Probably close to maintenance for you

It's not guilt; it's fear I'll bet! Certainly lots of my long-term, off-plan eating followed a "planned" indulgence.

That being said, if you can be sure to get right back on-plan after your special day, I think what you are doing is fine. Great, even. We all need to LEARN how to incorporate special occasions, which often include food, into our lives without falling off the cliff...

I say enjoy!

Thanks all. These girls nights happen about once a month - and usually I try to take charge of the menu/picnic/food prep to ensure that whatever I make has lots of veggies and is as healthy as possible. No one minds me taking care of the food, and I get to throw in fiber and remove fat from recipes without anyone noticing.

Just needed that extra reminder that this is a lifestyle, not a diet, and one day is not going to make for a huge crisis.

And tyler durden, you're right, part of it is fear...but I have my 3FC support team standing by to keep me on track tomorrow.

I'm going to enjoy it for what its worth, and remember tomorrow that this day didn't get me off-track, so I need to keep on moving forward on my path.

Thanks again, everyone.

I actually think you'll stay on track BETTER if you let yourself do this than if you completely restrict yourself. The tough part might be keeping your control. I do let myself indulge for sure sometimes, but don't feel like I can really let go once a week like some people do. But when I plan the indulgence, that works perfectly.

Another thing the planning does for me, is to let myself "see myself" eating, say, the one piece of fudge and then stopping. Sometimes that image of stopping before I go further is helpful when I'm in the moment and want just another piece of fudge...

For me it would also be problematic to assume that every time someone had an event or I went somewhere that it was license to indulge. That can also add up if you're not careful.

Have fun and enjoy!

I agree. I treat myself every once in a while to something.. sometimes it is at a special function but many times it is not unless there is something there I really want. Too often at these functions everything "looks" so good but winds up not being spectacular. But if I've had a taste, and I like it, I feel fine about going back for a small serving. Sometimes even though it tastes really good I don't want any more.. that taste was all I needed.

Sometimes an occasional indulgence happens when I plan family meals or a meal for myself. It just needs that little extra.

I plan to enjoy this journey ... with a level head of course!

I indulged today. A coworker brought brownies into work. I didn't have any at first, because I was planning to go out to dinner and figured that would keep me a bit high. But then those plans were cancelled, and when there was only one brownie left, I decided to eat it. It was really worth it. Wonderfully fudgie. I enjoyed every second of it, and was glad there were no more on the plate to tempt me! But this is not a usual occurence and I will still be in my calorie allotment for the day, so I'm not worrying about it. However, the next time I see brownies I will most likely pass them up... I don't want it to become a habit again!