Hi. I was directed to this particular board from another member. I usually frequent the 20 something board.

I have been really struggling lately and I am feeling very confused right now. I have been eating very little, and if I do eat too much, or what I think is to much I have been throwing up. I haven't been planning to binge and then throw up for the most part, because they aren't really binges so much as a regular sized meal or just a normal sized portion of a "bad" food. I don't know whether this is some sort of weird phase or if this is like the beginings of (or just flat out) an eating disorder. I would say that I have, up until this point, been very healthy in the way I have lost weight with maybe a handful of times I have not, and it was never consecutive days like it is now.

I don't know what my point is, but I feel like I going nuts or something. I feel like I am so close to what I want to look like that I just can't wait any longer to get there. I don't know why I have been so patient until now and all of a sudden I am doing this. I don't even know if I see myself for the way I really look. I have never weighed this little in my life (well life since I hit this height, so definitely it was before high school if I weighed less). I should be proud and happy, but I am not really!

I guess I am just looking for someone to tell me whether or not this is a big deal or if I am just being dramatic.

I'm sorry you're feeling down and confused. I don't think you're over-reacting. While I obviously can't diagnose you, you sound like you have an eating disorder. I think it would be smart to get help from a professional. You can trust them to maintain your confidentiality and help you get better. I know you're a nutrition major, so you know what you could do to your body if you deprive it of nutrients. You also know what it does to your metabolism. Do you have anyone at home you could confide in and who would help you get help? Try www.edap.org to find out where you can get help.

I think it's worth looking at seriously. You can't take your health lightly, even at 23. If you continue with this you should consider discussing it with your regular doctor... or at least getting one if you don't already have one. And if that doctor is not forthcoming with help or reasonable advice or at least a modicum of concern, find another one... it's okay to interview doctors, they are doing a job for you!

Good luck and please keep posting!

-Lala

Hi, Lockitup, I recognize you!!

Well, what you are describing (and I'm not a doctor, but I'm a know-it-all ) would be considered an ED-NOS, because you are purging normal amounts of food and not bingeing. This is eating disorder behavior. Get help with it now before it gets out of control. I started like you as well, just throwing up normal meals, and then it quickly led to bingeing, which quickly led to gaining over 100 pounds. Bulimia teaches you to binge eat. If I hadn't started throwing up, I never would have fell into a bingeing habit.

So try to stop right now, and talk to a professional if you can't quit on you own.