I've been overweight my whole life. And i've been dieting with very limited success since i was probably about 14. I've gone through various set points in my weight life. 188 took me through most of high school and then after freshman year i hit my all time high of 193 and then i got comfortable at 164. But then 2 years ago i went on this REALLY low calorie diet (doctor supervised but still unhealthy). I went from 175 to 140 in about 3 months. I was in unchartered territory. In my adult life i only once been lower than 164 (i hit 157 by accident when i studied abroad and walked everywhere... that lasted until i started enjoying the pubs). Once i got below 157 every weight was AMAZING. I was wearing sizing i never ever wore. I think i went from the childrens department straight to size 11/13.

The best part of all the weight loss (besides the clothes) was seeing all the people from home. The ones i grew up with who never new me as anything other than overweight. And boy was it worth it. One of the mothers of my childhood friends cried when she saw me. But then the inevitable happened. I started gaining the weight back and it started piling back on as fast as it had fallen off (probably faster!)

All the sudden the same weights that i was celebrating were horrifying me. 154? How could i let myself get back to 154? Oh no, 168! What am i going to do. I got all the way back to 192 this past January. It was so hard to go home. I didn't want to see the people who had been so proud of me. I had let them down.

And now here i find myself on this journey again. I've gotten my weight back under control and now i am back to 165. And i feel great! It's all about perception and the hardest part of this journey is riding the emotional rollercoster it puts you on.

Boy, 165 sure feels a lot better on the way down!

It really IS about perception. I hated when I was 215 pounds for instance but boy won't it be a joyful day when I reach that number again. Or 205 or 200 or anything below the weight I am now.

i know...you certainly don't celebrate the numbers as you are going up...but boy do you celebrate every number as you come down. 168 never looked so good until i saw it this weekend on the scale. i can't wait to see 167!!! each number down looks and feels sooooo good!!!

Way to go Ms. DC!! I know I am going to appreciate every milestone "one the way down!"

Dear Miss DC, so glad to see you here!

You are quite a bit younger than I am, and you have just learned a really important lesson! Which is, there is no end to watching your weight and staying conscious of what you eat. I'm sorry to say I've been up and down that particular roller coaster a few times, and I finally am understanding that there is no letting up on eating the "right way" just because I've reached a goal weight.

Good luck on your way down! Keep on going! You can get there. Remember, it's a way of eating, not a "diet."

Jay

Thanks Jay,
Sadly, as young as i am i feel like an old pro at this "dieting" business. But this time i'm not focused on the losing part. I've got my eye on Maintenance. I've got to learn how to manage this body of mine. I'm still enjoying the ride, but this time i've got my eyes wide open and no end in sight. I'm taking all the lessons i've learned both on my own and here in the forums and integrating them into my life now so that they just become part of who i am. Some weeks are better than others, but i'm getting there and figuring out what works for my body along the way.

You guys are all such wonderful encouragement!